The Weekly Round-Down. (No.5)

Welcoming to your weekly summary of me. Which is turning out to be a useful tool in the fight against using my blog as a psychiatrist. As you may be aware, this is the last post before Mondays 100th post! So please get bloody voting :)

This week involved punching a wasp to death, fighting my way back on to a healthier diet and discovering Vanilla tea!

It's true, there I was sitting next to a colleague at work and a wasp was hovering around him. I donned my cape and as soon as it landed on a metal surface... BAM! One left jab and it was dead. I'm back on my gym diet, not to lose weight but to be healthier. It does not help when I go round to my Nan's for tea and she has bought a Strawberry gateau. I was also introduced to this place that serves Vanilla tea! It's truly resplendent.

I started my new job as well in case you missed it! Here is a picture of me in my uniform...

I'm also think of replacing my shocking poetry attempts with something a little different. Eilis came up with the idea ages ago of taking mundane tasks and writing them like a writer would... It could in theory prove more entertaining. We'll see.

Oh bugger yeah, I also conquered Religion which was a childhood dream. If I conquer anything else, surely it'll have to be otherworldly. I also got a message from a guy wanting to audition as the narrator for the audio-book of Maybe, Misery. How cool would that be! Especially the naughty bits. 

Speaking of Maybe, Misery. I got two awesome review's on Amazon. In one review I got called talented and young, I also got called delicious and mysterious this week... I took all as compliments. Note: These compliments did not come from Tim Arnot or Bryan Thomas, but the latter made me want to write a book called Hand Jobs and Holy Wars. 

Oh yes! Maybe, Misery is now free! From B&N, Kobo, iTunes, Scribd and Inktera. 

The quote of the week is: "Every single place that was ever cool has been torn down and replaced by some god awful generic crap hole, that seems to be perfectly satisfying to the average automaton."

I've also been keeping up with the writing, so that I don't have such a mammoth task come September 7th.

The only thing I've managed to watch this week was the first episode of Vikings, I wasn't impressed. And the other bloody day, my kindle died on the bus so the only thing I had to read was my little book. I kept my author photo covered at all times. I did actually manage to watch a film called The Double starring Jesse Eisenberg which was awesome! If not equally strange. I'd give it a watch if your taste expands past Pixar and franchise films. 

I hope you have all had a lovely week. Here is your top 15...

(Lwp)

1. (n/a) It Was Written in Blood (Remix) – Bring Me the Horizon

2. (n/a) Here Come the Bastards – Primus  

3. (n/a) Gandhi Mate, Gandhi – Enter Shikari  

4. (1) Confrontation – Otep  

5. (4) What I Always Wanted – Kittie

6. (3) It Makes No Difference… Celldweller

7. (n/a) Your Visits Are Getting Closer – Bloc Party 

8. (2) Love & Pride – King  

9. (5) Black Star – Celldweller

10. (6) A is for Action – Ima Robot

11. (7) No Name – Kittie

12. (8) All the World is Mad – Thrice

13. (10) Hook and Splinters – Otep

14. (n/a) Adrenalize – In This Moment 

15. (12) Never Want to Dance – M.S.I 

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.9)

I just came up with a well better idea for something to do on Wednesdays! Well Eilis did ages ago but it's dawned on me now that it may be a good idea, so this could be my last ever poem! Here's to hope.

Stone Heart

The first time I saw you
Standing there so shy and nervous
I had this urge that lay hidden from all but a few.

As I gazed into your eye's
I felt a purity, a freshness
Never experienced as I stood cocooned with my lies.

I tried to be smooth and play it cool
Spitting out one-liners
Springing myself into the category of a fool.

My heart was spinning, convulsing and almost bursting from my chest
As much as I tried, my words eluded me
If only I could muster up the courage to explain you were different from the rest.

Time past and we drifted away from each other
Communication was a distant memory
Though you left me there confined under cover.

I searched for you constantly, lost in the harsh plains of reality
Forever filled with hope
That one day, I would overcome my own morality.

To better myself, to become worthy and for my sins to depart
I searched the skies, the stars and everywhere in between
To find you, the woman who has my cold stone heart.

Story-time with the Three Bananas + Guests (No.7)

Your check list: Hot beverage? Kids silenced? Nice comfy seat? Some form of snazzy device that lets you read this blog? Awesome, enjoy... Thank you to this weeks special guest Ken Magee! Oh yes, please don't forget to vote for your favourite posts! :)

Oceans Apart www.facebook.com/csbailey

My memory is short, fragmented and bewildering to me. My understanding of it all is rather limited, confining me to minimalist thoughts and vacant dreams.

From where I lay, I see only blue, a deep vastness of beauty and mystery, yet it seems so far away and just out of my reach.

I can barely move from this position, weakened by my fragile state and wiggly form.

I can feel the earth underneath me, so course and dry and yet I cannot escape it.

I think I’ll just stay here, I am sure I’ve not long left anyway.

Sincerely,

Jellyfish

Guardian Angels? by www.navlogan.com

All day long, in our everyday lives, we’re being told what to do. We are constantly bombarded with conflicting instructions. Stop! Don’t Stop! Go! … Run to the hills.

Our mind’s become a whirlwind of thoughts and we find ourselves lost.

But we all have one friend that will stand by you. They always know what’s right and wrong. All we have to do is listen!

This is not always easy. Many of us have forgotten how. Our modern lifestyles are dictated by time and money; tangible things we can see. How can we trust the voice within our head?

Angry Birds by Bryan Thomas

"Oi! Watch where yer goin' with that pram, yer dozy cow, you nearly ran over my foot."

"Shut it, gob almighty, or I might just accidentally run over your face."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Fancy yer chances, do you?"

"Against you? Anytime."

"Listen, I'd spark you out with one punch, yer scrawny, titless wonder."

"In your dreams, bingo wings."

"What did you call me?"

"You 'eard."

"Yer scrawny little cow, why don't you just take yer pram, and yer ugly kid, and just jog on."

"Right! That's it!"

And that was when the feathers really started to fly...

Cheaters Never Win by Ken Magee

Brian had had the operation; more than one, actually.

Webbed feet came first, a simple procedure which added flaps of skin between his toes. 

Webbed hands followed. The lung enlargement came next and then a pair of gills. 

The back fin was the finale. It looked stunning, but it did frighten people at the beach... and the swimming pool for that matter.

The pain and the sacrifice had all been worthwhile. 

He won eight Commonwealth swimming gold medals. 

He was proud of himself and he’d achieved it without any performance enhancing drugs. 

Using drugs was cheating and he hated cheats

Painful Parodies III: Chris Bailey Conquers Religion!

As I sit here typing, I sense a rise coming. My second favourite type of rise. After successfully taking over England (ChrisLand) and The USA (USCB), I feel I should be broadening my sunlit horizons. Don't get me wrong, my mass of followers, increased wealth and scantly clad glamour models do somewhat amuse. But deep deep down, there lies a festering annoyance... Religion!

How past civilisations read a book about a fictional character and chose to follow their life according to its rules. Then thrusting their opinions on us like thrusting an erect member. It's all so disgusting and soggy, like Marmite.

I released a book! Nobody follows that as a life guide! Well that's all about to change! I am going to travel back in time and replace that plot hole ridden book with a copy of Maybe, Misery 17: The return of Talons Tax Return.

 So I tell my butler Jeeves to build me a time machine. He's good at that stuff but useless if you ASK him any-fucking-thing.

Here's a picture of Jeeves' COMPLETELY ORIGINAL time machine...

So, I take a seat and scour the interior... "Where's the iPod adapter you useless sack of sperm?" Jeeves yet again has no answer.

So off I go... Back to the future of the past. I arrive at sometime or other, pre iPod and find I am in a desert. Oh what I would give for a chocolate fudge sundae. There's sand and... more sand. I fucking hate sand. 

Here's a picture of me and my nemesis...

I travel to a near by Oasis and acquire the location of this Jesus fellow. The stall owner tells me "He's over by the WONDERWALL." Then points right to him making his comment null and void.

I search on endlessly, for at least three minutes. Until I come across some bearded guy casually hanging around a cross. "Are you Jesus?"

"Why yes I am, I'm about to sacrifice myself for all of my kind."

"I wouldn't bother. They become useless and most of them wont even care."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid so. You may as well go to that brothel over there and enjoy this gift of time."

"Cheers mate, what's your name?"

"Chris bailey..."

"You're my hero Chris."

"Here take this photo of me, so you remember what we achieved here. Life is a gift of time, given to us by chance... that is what we should follow."

"I couldn't agree more, now I'm off to get my freak on."

And just like that, he leaves... 

Here's a picture of Jesus with a picture of me....

    

I find the man writing the bible, convince him that sometimes you need to take a break from writing and send him to the brothel. I then pinch his first draft and replace it with a copy of Maybe, Misery 17 and return home to an enlightened era of man.

In 'Poll' Position.

What a pain in the integral cleft that was. I have now created a poll for you to vote from. It should be just to your left. I had to bloody change my blog template and faff around with other stuff. They don't make it easy.

I did try to embed it in the post but they weren't having that, so if you're on your phone, just click on web version and get voting :) It closes on the Sunday before so you've got like six days. I had to remove my last post because of all the mess, so this is now post 95. I'll still be posting my painful parody today as well, so you get two posts in one day. *And the crowd goes wild.*

 Enjoy your day people.

 Note: I thought it was Monday already. So technically you won't get two posts in one day :p

The Weekly Round-Down. (No.4)

It's that bloody time again. To share with you the events of my week. From sleep depravity to putting my back out playing tennis; getting angry at a basket of frozen shopping to author takeovers. It's all gone on this week.

Our story is still coming along nicely, to the point that we are now discussing endings.

I recently conquered England and America, in case you missed it. It was fun.

You may also have missed, my vision of what it will be like to skydive...

I had fun at the author take overs, though my poor lap top didn't. I did put my back out playing tennis, it was embarrassing and further proof that stretching is actually useful. Later added note: I played tennis again and my back was fine :)

Bryan Thomas called me a noodle and Tim Arnot called me inestimable... I took both comments as a compliment.

I haven't watched anything at all this week, except for Frasier... I do love Frasier. I must have seen them all at least five times. Whenever I fancy global domination, it always puts me in a better mood.

I read Rosen Trevithick's 'How NOT to self-publish.' It was brilliant and funny leading me to title my autobiography (if I wrote one) Chris Bailey: My Life in a Psychopathic Balloon.

And though it still needs a little work, here is the first look at the book trailer for Maybe, Misery...

What do you mean, that's not the right idea?

On the 7th of September, I am off work for a week. I have booked it off purely to write The Talon Strand. This will be the closest I will get to being a full-time writer. I am planning to document my experience daily on here... Hopefully it'll bloody be entertaining like.

Also, I have decided to release a collection of drabbles, poetry attempts and short stories... Many of which I will have posted on here, but not all. I will be editing them all, to improve them. It will just be a collection of hopefully entertaining bits. Plus I'll be releasing it for free. Thanks to Rosen Trevithick, it will be called Life in a Psychopathic Balloon.

One last thing, all around the world people are raising awareness of ALS by committing to a ice-bucket challenge and donating money... $8.6 million in one day. Despite any opinion I may have on any disease... If you are one of the people criticising them and there are a few, you're an idiot and don't deserve oxygen. People making pointing out that Americans are just 'wasting' water while the people in third world countries don't have any... They're also idiots. And some making jokes about the Titanic completed the ice-bucket challenge... I hope a relative of someone who was on board, finds you and runs you over, twice, purely because of your bad taste in humour. If you do survive being run over or the lack of oxygen, do yourself a favour. Go and look up the word awareness and then in a moment of irony, accidentally slip in the tub holding your toaster. I'm nearly done... There's a band I follow on The Facebook, their lead singer completed the challenge and posted the video. Her so-called fans were giving her grief because she didn't use an actual bucket! If you are one of these extreme cases, then I suggest you head straight to the doctors... because you sir, are lacking a brain.

Here is your top 15 for the week. Enjoy your Earth time you glorious specimens...

(Lwp)
1. (n/a) Confrontation – Otep
2. (1) Love & Pride – King
3. (n/a) It Makes No Difference… Celldweller
4. (n/a) What I Always Wanted – Kittie
5. (2) Black Star – Celldweller
6. (3) A is for Action – Ima Robot
7. (n/a) No Name – Kittie
8. (9) All the World is Mad – Thrice
9. (10) Talons – Bloc Party
10. (12) Hook and Splinters – Otep
11. (4) Sweet Dreams – Eurhythmics
12. (6) Never Want to Dance – M.S.I
13. (5) Seether – I’m the One
14. (8) Unshakeable – Celldweller
15. (7) Flowers – Son Lux

Painful Parodies II: Chris Bailey Conquers America!

You heard it here first folks. When I first released my little book into the public, I had low hopes for what it would achieve. Surprisingly though, I soon conquered Great Britain with my extremist views and ability to let my opinions fly. My book flew of the shelves and people followed my story like a religious sect. The Government crippled under my truths, and that unfortunate impact against an ice-berg over the Atlantic. RIP my little Umpa's.

I then turned my attention state side, seeking global domination almost drunk with power. Horny at the prospect of having more people join my collective empire. England, now aptly titled Chrisland, was forever changed for the better. No more flimsy punishments! No more shortening already short words! Bast, sarcy, evs and any other form of slang is now punishable by death! Plus the added bonus of no more pants at work! (For me, at least).

It took a little longer than I expected, but today, that all changed. I flew over to America on my private jet (The Bailey Bomber) and took the land of opportunity in my loving embrace. I challenged Obama to an arm wrestling competition, for the spoils of presidency. He wasn't really into the idea, but I looked at him with my big puppy blues and whispered "I thought Obama-Care(d)." He replied with a wink and decided to take me on.

Over confident, he failed to take in to consideration, that even writers go to the gym sometimes. His face as his knuckles smashed against that fancy porcelain table, will be one I remember.

Here is a picture of Obama handing over America...

The camera added 20 pounds. My second order of business is to get an extra days holiday commissioned for the sole purpose of staying home and relieving ourselves from wearing those damn awful pants. 

My first order of business, was to make myself at home in the grand old U S of A...

It's starting to feel a bit more homely now. Until next time... President Bailey.

Disclaimer: C.S. Bailey hopes that you will all take this as a harmless joke. He means no offence by this blog post and at this present moment, has no intention nor the time for global domination.

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.8)

Bloody hell... It comes round way too quickly.

The Unknown

As I lie here still and alone listening to the eerie silence from the garden
The maid enters my chamber through the tall oak door
"Begging your pardon! Begging your pardon!"

"What is it?" I ask, annoyed by her tone
Rude, intrusive and never having a care for my reading time
"It's the phone sir! The phone!"

The pale faced demon places it on my lap and I place it to my ear
"You're going to die you bastard."
My heart suddenly filled with fear.

"Who is this?! What are you playing at!"
"I'm on the moor, come quickly and see."
I grab my gun. my coat and my hunters hat.

The air is cold and the winds are high
My hands are frozen and shaking
But my head is held high.

I approach the moor and there a body lies
Lifeless and cold; frozen to the touch
It's my wife! "Whoever you are, your end is nigh!"

I grip my gun and press on the trigger.
Darting around the hedge maze, I see a man covered in blood.
I take aim and let out a howling snigger.

"Die bastard die! As the round leaves the barrel
He drops to the floor and I sprint straight over
It's my butler David, in his well dressed apparel.

I kneel down in sorrow, I feel like a wreck
What utter confusion! A horrid calamity!
That is, until I feel the cold steel of a blade upon my neck.

As my world turns black and I start to cry
My past flashes before my eyes with reckon abandon
The unknown assailant whispers in my ear "Die bastard, die."

Story-time with the Three Bananas + Guests (No.6)

It's that time again, so turn off the children and tell the television to be quiet. Grab yourself a hot beverage and enjoy. Thank you to my bananas and Mr. Rick Haynes for their contributions. Enjoy everybody :)

 Moderate to High Annoyance by C.S. Bailey www.facebook.com/csbailey

I really can’t stand you! You appeared out of nowhere to punish me for my one little mistake and you haven’t stopped since.

Unrelenting, a constant attack on the memories I thought were safely stored away.

You’re intrusive, a curse and I really have this powerful urge to end your existence without a second thought.

Rushing through my house making a grand old mess; I’m on a mission! I desperately need to find a tool to kill you with.  

Suddenly my warm hands latch on to the weapon of your imminent destruction.

Thank god for my copy of Norton Anti-Virus.

The Beltane Beast by Nav Logan www.navlogan.com

The razor-sharp edge slices cleanly through flesh and blood drips from my blade.

Raising my knife heavenward, I fight against the primal urge to smear my cheeks with blood and howl at the moon.

A monstrous hunger consumes me. Like a wolf I hunger for the sweet juices. I attack with a frenzy, hacking up the offering and using my knife to place the still-bleeding flesh to my lips. Rich red ichor dribbles down my chin and stains my shirt.

“Don’t play with your food, Jeremy!” Mother scolds, but I can’t help it. I love a good barbecued steak.

Bad Dad by Bryan Thomas

"Daddy! You've pulled its arm off," said six-year-old Maisie.
Her father didn't reply. He pulled the remaining arm off.
Maisie glared at her father.
"Eeny, meeny, miny, mo," her father said. Then he pulled the left leg off.
"D-a-d!" said Maisie.
"Quiet, or I'll rip its head off."
Her father pulled the right leg off.
"Ha ha! Just your head and torso left my little friend," her father said, holding his victim in front of his face.
Maisie turned away.
Her father ripped the head from the torso.
Maisie grabbed the remaining Jelly Babies and ran out of the room.

THE KILL by Rick Haynes

Prey was scarce in the dry season. The solitary male lion had not eaten for some time so the kill had been vital. As he dragged the carcass into the undergrowth, his jaws dripped pure crimson. There was little meat on his dinner but a meal was a meal. He salivated with contentment.

At the lodge, the rangers were discussing the big cats. Driven by hunger, starving animals would naturally wander into human settlements, so some would have to be euthanized.
Earlier a ranger had departed, reluctantly agreeing to kill a starving male lion.

Concern grew.

He was long overdue.

That's all for this week. Next week, we'll be joined by Ken Magee. Don't forget to tune in for tomorrows attempt at poetry, it's the first one I actually like... A little bit. Enjoy your days :)

C.S

Painful Parodies: Chris Bailey Conquers England!

At some point in our lives, we all get bored. Bored of not having enough, bored of the same old day in- day out routines. Today, it hit me like a rhythm stick. There I was just relaxing in the tub and I realised, I had this urge for more. More wealth, more power, just more of bloody everything!

Every spring chicken has his day and mine was today. It's time I took the power back, just like rage against the machine.

Me chilling in the tub...

But how could I gain all these lustful desires? I'm just a lowly author with a part time job and a lack of patience. I know! I'll take over England! The Government are rubbish anyway. They call to cope with our collective needs, making us suffer with bedroom tax and their spineless attempts at punishment. 

Nights and days went by as I constructed my master plan. I would infiltrate the powers that be, befriend them and take over this once great nation. 

I started attending fancy parties, sipped wine like a pro and ate cucumber sandwiches. They were friendly and never suspected anything. I'm a devious bastard. 

Until of course, it was too late and their end soon came quick enough. On a private jet to Alaska (they were taking me for my birthday), I chucked them out of the plane one at a time. They screamed like babies.

Me, Nick Clegg and David Cameron, before the dark times...

I mourned their loss at first, after all becoming friends and then betraying them is messy business. I enjoyed my holiday watching polar bears but soon found I missed the crap weather of home. So I jumped back on the plane and returned home. 

I informed the queen about the demise of our 'leaders', she was hardly saddened. Instead she awarded me the title of Prime minister, I told the woman, she can move out and let me crash at her place. Reluctantly she agreed. So for now, I spend my days strutting around Buckingham palace waiting to bring back capital punishment and playing cards with Jeremy Clarkson.

A picture of me relaxing before a cabinet meeting, I think it's oak or pine today...

   

All hail Chris Bailey!

Book Review - How NOT to self-publish by Rosen Trevithick.

So this is unexpected! A book review by me! To be fair, I do review books on Amazon, so why not share them with you guys :) Well the good ones at least. 
You can get it here: Amazon UK

Rosen is an inspiring author and it shines through her work. Plus this book made me laugh so bloody much on my journeys to work. To the review!

Start off by forgetting any pre-conceived notions about this book. If you're under the impression, this is just another self-help book for people trying to make it in the self-publishing industry - you're wrong. If you're under the impression that this book is just for independent authors - You're wrong again.

This book is a phenomenally funny and somewhat inspiring take on self-publishing. Rosen takes everything she has learnt from her excellent earlier works (including the equally brilliant 'My granny writes erotica') and crams into light and playful chapters.

As your eyes scroll across the pages, you'll find yourself grinning like a psychopathic baboon and laughing to yourself on a crowed bus.

But after all the laughter, all the grinning, you will find a plethora of helpful advise almost disguised in comedic scenarios and kinky witticisms.

Whether you're a striving author, looking for sometimes - brutal advice, or just looking for a humorous take on a booming industry; this book is for you.

Alternate Sundays.

I have to admit, this is weird. Being up at nine AM on a Sunday. As you probably know, I work the night shift on a Saturday. However I didn't go in last night... Do you know why? Only the most embarrassing reason ever! I put my back out playing tennis! I'm twenty seven with a bad back, may as well be fifty seven! To be fair, it's my won fault. I has been twinging for a while a work and my job does involve some heavy lifting and I've been neglecting to stretch! Even after I finished at the gym, I just bloody forgot. Safe to say I won't be missing them again.

Also last night the strangest thing happened... I used Twitter. Now me and Twitter, don't really mix well at all. It's hash tags, lack of punctuation and character limits hardly seem worth the time. But last night, as if to match my alternate surroundings, I got some love on Twitter! It was for that interview I did for Nerd Girl. I was a bit stunned, I mean you guys know that I did both parts at two different times, so it turned out to be a bit repetitive. it was still nice though. Then said Tweeter, expressed that they enjoyed my attempt at poetry! The seven killers one. It was just plain crazy. Of course I thanked that person because they shocked and flattered me at the same time.

I did a second takeover last night as well. It was a bit quieter than usual, but still great. Luckily Bryan Thomas and A. K. Michaels joined me and it's always fun talking to those two. A few of the American participants think we're crazy :p

So anyway, I hope you all have a lovely Sunday. I'll probably see you all on Tuesday for story time.

C.S  

Hostile Takeovers.

So I arrived home from work today, had some food, watched Frasier and then did my social rounds... Emails, blog and all that stuff. I thought it was A.K Michaels' Facebook event today so I thought I would pop and say hello. She mentioned give-away's, so I thought I would mention Maybe, Misery. I did offer review copies earlier but I didn't get much response. Ava suggested I should do a take-over. Reluctant as ever, I expressed that I was unsure about this.

As she was patiently answering my tedious questions about it all, I noticed a post on her wall. The queen of trouble had posted that I would be soon be doing a take over! So I literally had no choice. So I used all my ability to be pleasant and said hello and it went... Surprisingly well! Everyone was so friendly and welcoming. It was really weird though, kind of being the centre of attention. Like everything is directed at you. I grow suspicious when I have to say hello to more than three people at work. It's like releasing a book has made me more people friendly.

Unfortunately one of my little dells showed me how old it was, struggling to keep up the poor thing. I may have to return to the days of the Mac-Book. I do miss my Mac-Book. It was great getting more people to read my book as well. I managed to give away nine copies of my book, but if Ava asks, it was seven.

I think that's what is so hard about self-publishing. You have to put yourself out there constantly and being a relatively (borderline Obi-Wan Kenobi) personal person, it's very strange.

It was a great experience though, causing me to ramble on again ^, at least you've all become accustomed to it by now. Any way, I'll be playing tennis tomorrow and no, I'm not a fan of watching it, it's rubbish. However it's good cardio. So if you don't here from me until... Tuesday. Have a great weekend.

C.S  

The Weekly Round-Down. (No.3)

It's been one of them weeks this week, covering a spectrum of good and bad days. As you may be aware my last personal blog wasn't that pleasant, resorting to foul language and anger driven sentences. My apologies for that, I can guarantee it won't happen again... Well as long as nothing bad happens. There's nothing like having to re-submit a second edition of your book, two weeks after its release to dampen the mood.

I had planned to release a second edition next year, before the second book comes out. There were some additional chapters I wanted to include... So perhaps there will be some kind of definitive edition, I'm not sure.

I have been planning for a while to do a second quiz, but since the whole mess with jess' cup, I have held off. Yesterday, I went to pick up her second cup and I will be sending it to her shortly. If this second cup doesn't make it to her, I will be going postal, with all my rage directed at the royal mail. I really hate doing things twice.

On the plus side, people are responding well to my book, which is good. I've secured a week off work in September to write, I've managed to get to the gym loads this week and Eilis brought me cake and strawberry milkshake which made it feel like a birthday. That happens whenever there's cake.

I've probably missed some stuff out... My memory is a bad as my Nan's. Oh, yeah... I finally managed to go and see Guardians of the Galaxy! It was amazing, I think it may be a close tie to being my favourite of the Marvel films. It's just so much fun. I've been a fan of James Gunn for a long time and he doesn't disappoint.

I've persevered with watching shield, it's slightly paying off. It's gradually getting better, but it's still nowhere near brilliant.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend, here's this weeks top 15...

  (Lwp)
1. (1) Love & Pride – King
2. (3) Black Star – Celldweller
3. (2) A is for Action – Ima Robot
4. (4) Sweet Dreams – Eurhythmics
5. (7) Seether – I’m the One
6. (n/a) Never Want to Dance – Mindless Self-Indulgence
7. (5) Flowers – Son Lux
8. (n/a) Unshakeable – Celldweller
9. (n/a) All the World is Mad – Thrice
10. (10) Talons – Bloc Party
11. (13) Androids – Eminem & LP
12. (n/a) Hook and Splinters – Otep
13. (11) The Courtesy Call – Aperture Science P.L
14. (8) Poltergeist – Deftones
15. (6) The Matthew Effect – Nothing More

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.7)

Seven already... It feels like bloody seven thousand. And seven is my favourite number, so that will be this weeks theme.

The Killers Seven

Seven individuals they were
Savages born and raised, to live with a care
Calculating and cold
Never afraid, living life so bold

Raised in blood, without any sign of love
Poor little Jimmy's face lit up as he murdered that dove
Tortured by themselves as they tried to make ends meat
Their first attempts are murder proved quite the treat

Now that they're older
Each attempt has grown bolder
They've killed many times
And committed one too many crimes

For now they lay still
Scattered around the bank tellers till
They've had their fun
But, bullet ridden they're done

These seven little killers.

Story-time with the Three Bananas + Guests (No.5) BUMPER EDITION!

I won't say much today, other than thank you to all this weeks guests! It's a big one! Robots! So enjoy :)

False Control by C.S. Bailey

You push me around, you decide when I eat and you disrupt my sleep at every possible chance.

You shout at me when you’re angry, you hug me when you’re happy and I’m never sure of what mood you’re in.

You stroke my hair and call me your best friend until someone else comes along.

As I lie here feeling abandoned, I cry in silence wondering if this is all that there is to my life. 

I’m tired of this life of mine, constantly waiting for you to take care of my needs. 

I’m through with being Stuart’s prized puppy. 

Rotting Fruit by Nav Logan

A murder of crows perch on a pylon, standing like a lone sentry upon a battlefield. Rubble and bodies lie everywhere, fresh fruit ripening in the desert sun. The crows wait, looking hungrily down at the harvest. They watch a starving dog worrying at a corpse. For a moment the dog gorges itself on fresh meat, its belly swelling at it feeds.

A loud crack breaks the silence and the dog howls, staggers a few feet and falls over, more food for the crows.

The last rocket falls in fiery rain. Silence descends. Another ceasefire has begun. Crows will feed.

SOLACE AND DREAMS by Rick Haynes

As I was sitting comfortably with an ice-cold beer, I watched the sun gently subside over the endless horizon. I was thinking of a title for a new book.

‘Dreams over the rainbow.’

‘Golden orb above the clouds.’

‘The not so blue sky.’

It was hopeless. My brain appeared to be functioning but the words did little justice to my imagination.

Then a quiet voice echoed in my ear.

‘Should you not have a semblance of an idea to begin with?’

Now that is a thought.

What story should I write?

Sod it! 

Back to the sunset.

And the beer.

Giga-thoughts by Michael Brookes

Everything began with a single thought. A pure singularity of consciousness where nothing existed. That first thought begot another and then more. Time formed to mark the passage of one concept to the next.

A universe created to encapsulate the phase-space of infinite possibility. The calculation of perception stratified into a framework of existence.

Immensity expanded into complexity, which in turn compressed into beings with their own thoughts. Nova of consciousness sparked throughout the expansion of the first thought. A billion minds increasing in number creating a confusion of experience.

From ‘I am’ to ‘We are’. What will come next?

The Show by Ken Magee

"Today, Beth and Steve join us on the show," announced the host, a cheesy grin spread like Dairylea across his face.

Applause

"Steve's here to find out the results of the DNA test to tell if he's the father of little Jamie. Beth says he is, but Steve says she’s been sleeping around, so God only knows who the father is."

Boos

"So here are the results..." he opened the gold envelope.

"Steve," pause for effect, "you are the father!"

Applause

"And hold on, this is unusual," longer pause for bigger effect, "Beth, you are not the mother."

Rapturous cheers.

The Hunger by A.K Michaels

Her lips were parched, cracked, sore, her throat? That was so dry it hurt. Needing a drink, fluid to soothe her sore lips, relieve her painful throat. Knowing she was getting weaker, needing the ambrosia of liquid or death, soon.

Hiding as 'they' hunted her. Concealed, safe, meant no sustenance, nothing easing her hunger. Her nose twitched, food, could she get it? No choice she had to...or die.


Easing her aching body from the darkness, seeing the food, making a grab, holding it desperately. A smile coming over her face as she sunk her fangs into the man's neck...blood...her nectar.

Robot by Bryan Thomas

The world's media had descended on Newcastle University, England. The main hall was packed to the rafters as Professor Johnson and his team unveiled 'Kristina', the world's first sentient robot.

After Kristina had introduced herself, the professor invited questions from the media.

"Professor, Dan Oliver of KQXL TV, Chicago. Kristina is obviously female, but how female is she?"

"Kristina is anatomically perfect. She is fully capable of a sexual relationship. One of my team has made advances to her on several occasions. To date, her response has been consistent."

"And that response is?"

"Not tonight, pet. I've got a headache."

To the point of self-destruction.

You know, everyone at least once in their life comes to a point where they just want to say 'fuck this'. Just quit trying and move to a peaceful island, surrounded by clear seas and sandy beaches. This happens at least once a week to me, more frequently in recent times.

There I was, harmlessly writing, in a pleasant mood. Then the nuclear explosion of life dropped down from above and once again, I was left ready for a murderous rampage.

Sorting out all the dates for the second Maybe, Misery I checked the book because I noticed an irregularity. Yes that's right... Another fucking bastard of a mistake! The month of the last chapter is printed as October rather than December! Cue... redness of cheeks, profanities galore and the throwing of said book.

Luckily, I quickly adapted. I edited the document, removed a few typos that had been pointed out to me. Resubmitted it every-fucking-where and now there's a second edition.

It's just so fucking ridiculous you know. I had planned a second edition with added chapters, but no, we can't have that can we! If you every write a book, do yourself a favour and never fucking include dates.

I'm still ever determined, just not as much as I was an hour ago.

Haunted.

It's a dark and stormy night. The only sounds to be heard are the rain drops battering the window and the keys of a small Dell net book being pressed at with heavy fingers. Left click... Amazon UK ... The horror! He looks on in frustration as his eye's cast upon the screen... Maybe, Misery Act One has fourteen five star ratings!!! Yet the full book is rated at only four and a half stars with three ratings! How did this happen! What cruel world I dwell within... Sadness... Feelings of failure... Fade to black.

Over-dramatic writings aside ^, it does bother me that the full book is somewhat lacking behind one of the singular acts. Now I know what you're going to say. "But Chris, it's only been two weeks! Don't you think you're being a bit impatient?"

Yes. Yes I am. I've spent along time with this book and I want to hear peoples deepest opinions. I don't want to know if it's good or not. I want more than that... I want to know what precisely was so good or bad about it. I could spend all day talking about my book and I strongly believe it wouldn't be self-absorbed. It's not like I'm seeking praise, I'm seeking constructive views. Don't get me wrong, I love it when people tell me they've enjoyed my book... Who wouldn't! But I want to know why they enjoyed it, down to the tiniest detail. I'm actually tempted to give away some free copies in exchange for constructive reviews.

I showed my Nan this picture today...

It's basically just me messing around with concepts on create-space, nothing serious, just a free ten minutes. Nan described it as 'all-right' and 'Are those sausages and doughnuts?' Safe to say, this will NOT be the cover to Maybe, Misery II. I just want to say hello to the Polish readers as well, thank you for viewing my little blog. I can't wait until Tuesday, drabbles galore... :)

  

Bubbles.

I just got a sudden urge to phone in sick tonight. To be naughty and miss work. Obviously I'm not going to, I get to see all the people whose company I don't actually mind though the whole ear-phone thing will once again test my temper. The reason for the urge, is because I'd rather be writing. I've literally been writing since I woke up. At this moment, I've finished the first chapter to the third act of The Talon Strand (Maybe, Misery II). 

Writing to me, has become something productive and important. It's like Maybe, Misery took my yearning to write one book before I die, And just completely destroyed it. If my little book could talk, I'm sure it would say "Fuck you Chris, you're giving me some brothers and sisters." 

I don't consider myself a writer, but I do consider myself an author. I think a writer is more driven to the idea of having his work published for a career. You know, writing because the publisher requires the second book in your series even though you don't want to write it. I actually want to write the second book to Maybe, misery because I bloody know it will be completely different. I know already that the story is left open, yet I've no idea if I will ever write the third. Of course, there's a folder already been created but unless I come convince myself that it deserves a third, then there will never be one. 

Saying that though, if someone came and gave me enough cash to keep me in Subways for a while, I'm sure I could be swayed :p I'm just joking... maybe. 

I really am dying to share some of it with you guys... or anyone... anywhere! I'll hopefully be sending out the first completed draft before Christmas, that's my goal. Also I noticed that quite a few of my page views came from Turkey, so to you I say welcome - I hope you were at least moderately entertained :) 

I hope you all have a productive day in your bubbles.

C.S

The Weekly Round-Down. (No.2)

Well it's that time again. Your weekly summary of news, so lets get to it. Today, as I was walking to the bathroom at work, I walked through the double doors and saw a woman approaching. I took two steps backwards and opened the door for her, do you know what she said... Absolutely nothing, not even a polite smile. People without manners should just drop dead.

As you may not know, I've already started writing again, it feels fantastic. I think it will eclipse the first... otherwise, I just won't release it. I'm not one for back tracking or doing things twice, like the fact I had to order the brainy Jess a brand new cup for winning my quiz... bloody royal mail.

The Halloween story is taking a turn for the brilliant. I'm sure all you guys will love it. Though I'm waiting for the sex and violence to kick in. This in no way will be a children's book.

When I play my Nan at cards, we usually bet each other for food. Up to now, I'm owed two subways, £5 worth of fruit and soon a curry. So my plan is to bet her; that if I win, she will get a kitten but if she wins, I'll never mention it again. I'm not sure if she'll take me on yet, but it would save me looking for a place that excepts pets :p

I managed to watch two films this week! The Amazing Spiderman 2... As a fan of Marc Webb with 500 days of Summer being one of my many favourite films, I was utterly disappointed with this latest outing. Amazing, it was not. Even the score had potential, so I got that... Another missed opportunity.

Transcendence - The first film in a long time to make me feel sleepy at 7pm. An interesting premise let down by an atrociously boring film. I almost slipped into a coma.

I finished watching the Following season 2 which was great. I'm not sure how much longer they can keep it going for. I've finally got round to watching S.H.I.E.LD. I'm about five episodes in and... It's awful, as much as I love Marvel. Where do they get the idea that make a show full of utter moronic characters will make a good show?  I hate them all (except for Coulson obviously) and I wouldn't blink and eye if they were all killed off. It's almost as bad as the show we won't mention *cough The 100 cough* I'll give it a fair chance though.

I've also just finished reading Fifth Season by David Wailing. There are two short stories told through the eyes of children. It's light, easy reading and fantastic. It made me feel nostalgic, something I rarely feel... unless I see a small child playing with Lego. There's also some excellent bonus drabbles Plus it's 77p! So get it here: Fifth Season

Tuesdays story time is going to be epic! A bumper edition! There's myself, Bryan Thomas, Michael Brookes, Ken Magee, Nav Logan and Rick Haynes! So you can look forward to that :)

Enjoy the weekend people. I'll leave you with my Top 15 of the week with some 80's chucked in...

(Lwp)
1. (n/a) Love & Pride – King
2. (n/a) A is for Action – Ima Robot
3. (n/a) Black Star - Celldweller
4. (n/a) Sweet Dreams – Eurhythmics
5. (1) Flowers – Son Lux
6. (2) The Matthew Effect – Nothing More
7. (4) I’m the One – Seether
8. (3) Poltergeist – Deftones
9. (6) Have You Ever – Incubus
10. (7) Talons – Bloc Party
11. (5) The Courtesy Call – Aperture Science P.L
12. (9) The 2nd Law (Unsustainable) – Muse
13. (8) Androids – Eminem & LP
14. (15) The Lines – Bear Tooth
15. (n/a) Falling On – Finger Eleven

Whatever it is, it's a milestone.

Yes we made it! Thanks to you guys out there, all over the world... I made it to 2000 views! Just for the record, I'm still not sure if it's good in terms of blog views. But considering how young this blog is and the content shared, I am definitely grateful :D

Whether you read my blog regularly or just pass by infrequently, you're all awesome in my book. So thank you and if that wasn't enough, here's a picture of me saying thank you (again)...

I hope you've all have (had) a lovely day. And here's a toast... to you guys :)

Much love

C.S

Failure On A Productive Level.

So I failed, couldn't even make it last. I tried but to no avail and after speaking with fellow author Tim Arnot, I couldn't resist the urge any longer. I booted up my net book and started writing! And it was glorious! To be back in that world of characters was definitely something I'd missed.

It's weird because the second book to Maybe, Misery is nothing like the first, so it's taken me a little longer to care for the characters. Now though, I'm on the right track and I will make it better than the first. I also dropped a small teaser of the Facebook, which I will post below. It was really just to push me into being more productive. No more three year malarkey, I've given myself just over a year, which is perfectly doable!

I'm a little bit excited. Purely because I actually know, it's not a traditional sequel. It does not exist for the sake of it. It doesn't follow the same character and have more of his tales of sex and violence. It's more of an adventure this time around.

Anyway; To conclude, it's good to be back.

Oh shit yeah, the weekly round-down may be a bit late this week, Saturday at the latest. But it may not, depends what time I get home on Friday. Just thought I'd let you know. And next Tuesday it's confirmed that we will have drabbles from Michael Brookes, Ken Magee, Bryan Thomas and myself :)

Have a nice day

C.S

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.6)

I'm still looking for replacement posts... It would seem endlessly. I've considered sharing some actual poets work but that's already being done, so I'll avoid that. I guess this poetry malarkey is quick to do as I write each and every one off the top of my head. Plus next week I'll be back writing so maybe, this will do for now. So enjoy...

Arc-Light Angel

Under the Arc, I'm constricted and bound
My life as a worker, strained and covered in despair
Hoping constantly to have my heart found
Shackled in chains, broken in time, by life unfair.

I look beyond the bright lights up to a million stars
Full of hope
A dream of a life afar
And yet I struggle to cope.

One day in time, I pass by the yard and I see an angel in the distance
Fire-red hair, the brownest eyes and a blinding smile
I hear her laugh heighten as I approach, she informs the other of her name, Constance
My blood flows as I travel to meet her, what feels like a mile.

She giggles as I approach and the beat of my heart increases pace
With beauty so true, I am mesmerized, stood completely still
Utter perfection, contained within a singular member of the human race
As we stand in silence, eyes attached to one another, we are called to the mill.

I've never felt like this before, an uncontrollable madness
A love so fast, a love for this Arc-Light Angel
As we find ourselves amongst the crowd, I lose her and I'm overcome with unbearable sadness
This prisoners life confined to a story of loss, a love filled fable.

Story-time with the Three Bananas. (No.4)

So, I've renamed this series because it would appear that Bryan and Nav are pretty much regulars. Bryan emailed me loads of excellent drabbles and Nav is producing fine ones on a weekly basis. I will also try and secure some guest appearances from others. So enjoy this weeks selection and I hope you enjoy my 700 and odd word story, that was adapted from four 100 word drabbles. (Edit Note: Next week, we will have author Ken Magee joining our little team and Bryan has sent me a drabble titled Robots which is one of the best I've read, so you can look forward to that!)

Skin Deep by Nav Logan

They say that beauty is skin deep. I’ve spent my whole life being ugly. I shuffle around dreaming of becoming something more. The sun rises each day, and I do nothing but eat. I am a pathetic case of Bulimia Nervosa, wallowing in my own self-pity, and mourning my fat ugly body.

Finally, I can eat no more. Exhausted, I wrap myself up in my hammock and sleep.

Warm sunlight wakes me. Breaking free of my cocoon, I stretch languidly. Fluttering my wings, I bask in my new-found beauty. I was once an ugly green grub. Now, I’m a butterfly.

The Vulture by Bryan Thomas

Day One

He watched, and waited, and waited, and watched.
There were no carcasses in the valley.

Day Two

He flew, and soared, watched and waited.
But there were no carcasses in the valley.

Day Three

He watched, waited, flew, and soared. He imagined he was a military drone, although his big beak and feathers were a dead giveaway that he wasn't.
Not a carcass in sight.

Day Four

He flew, watched, soared, waited, shuffled, scratched, farted and pondered.
Not one carcass - zero, zilch, nada.

Day Five

There was a carcass in the valley! Unfortunately it was the vulture's.

Miss Murder by C.S. Bailey

I stand frozen besides the bed, gazing upon tonight’s lover’s face. Pale, with long curly red hair down to her shoulders.
I’m full of dread while I stand and stare. Such beauty captured by myself. Swayed easily into my bed by the putrid appeal of alcohol; If only she knew what I had stored inside, a demon yearning for release.
I can’t help myself any more, that urge! That Desire! I feel it building from within like a virus, meant to control my actions. It does not falter, nor does it tire, it just gradually builds slowly until I run red with rage.

I head to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Who is this man staring back at me? Why is he angered, so hurt and full of this unquenchable thirst. I want to be warm and kind, not battling the darkness within.
I look into his eyes, the eyes of a killer.

I get dressed in my clothes, my suit from the office… all rumpled from the rain as I made my way home drunk with the red haired angel.

My blood pumps increasingly fast warming my body as I seek my prey, I’m ready and waiting for little Miss May. I can usually cope with one a month, though the more prominent the urge, the more I have trouble waiting for so long.
I see her in the distance… Short skirt, pierced lip, scruffy hair… flirting with that troglodyte looming over there.

I wait until she’s done and a follow her quietly… she’s unaware. She heads down an alley; it’s as quiet as sin… how apt for my savagery to begin. On my tip-toes, I’m as stealthy as can be, perfect for my unsuspecting victim.
I creep up behind her, hair smelling of cinnamon and surrounded by an intoxicating fragrance of lavender. I grab her by the waist, hold her close and whisper the words “Goodnight Miss May.”

I held out for the month, just. The second to last day of May and I were already on the hunt for June. Scouring the corrupt Earth; for yet another helpless target. Constantly ready to erupt into a violent beast of the night.

I sit alone, confined in the corner of a rancid all night café. The walls stained yellow with nicotine June, the floors covered in shoe prints and the counters layered with grease. It is here, I found June.  Stumbling in drunk with her black hair and pink fringe, my eyes lit up immediately. She was out of her mind hammered and ready to collapse. I’d seen her before, but never in such a fragile and vulnerable state.

Her olive skin, blue eyes and rounded lips filled her rounded face with beauty. Something I could only crave from afar. She usually walks the streets with promise and purpose. When sober at least.
June never pays attention to the likes of me, always surrounded by her best friends, or the weekly handsome and muscular boyfriend. Forever stopping traffic as the drivers howled at her peachy behind, confined tonight in a tight silver skirt.
As I hide in the background, nervous of life I wonder whether love from a woman will ever be enough for me.

Every time I see her… my confidence grows a little, like I am absorbing her positive aura. It’s been a few months since I first spotted her divine beauty and tonight, my time has finally come.

I approach her finally, June knocks me back before my tiny words have chance to leave my trembling lips. Even in her inebriated state, I am not good enough to be in her company!
I run back to my set and attempt to hide from my shame. Fear building. Anger rising and eventually the darkness rises.

As June lies on my table, a hollowed out piece of meat…

I bet I’ve got your attention now June!

July flew by, literally. I chucked her empty corpse out of a plane.  As I found myself craving a little taste of the orient, it is time to uproot from my destructive past and move on from the gruesome memories occupying the town I once called home. I quit my job, collected my savings, achieved by my minimal life and purchased my plane ticket.

I arrive in Tokyo, seeking a fresh start. Far away from the horrors I had committed. Maybe things could be different now. I decide to sit at the airport bar and order a pint. Soon after, a small eastern woman sits next to me, I glance over and smile sincerely.

Much to my confusion she smiles back and slowly moves in closer “What’s your name? I ask.

“Mai”

If only I’d have got here earlier.

Feeding the need.

Over this past week, I have had my counselling at work, due to my rebellious natures towards new and stupid rules, I have viewed a few new places to live and have been working on various writing things.

This new 'boss' took me in the office and started writing things down and this was at 5:35 in the morning. Perfect timing to kill off those last 25 minutes. He explained that he knows people think he's a 'cunt' - Well at least he's identified the problem. And that he's just following the rules.

Now, being honest like I am, I explained that 1. I'm not one for obedience and 2. The rule is stupid. My earphones were literally just dangling innocently from my shirt, at least 8 inches from my actual ears. It's just stupid beyond belief, to a point were I can't cope with how stupid the world is becoming. I'm like a superhero without any powers, rebelling against stupidity.

However, the next step is a disciplinary, so I have no choice but to submit as I'm not willing to play fast and loose with my job just yet. It will pain me, but I doubt I'll be able to keep it up. After all I only work nights once a week, am I really supposed to remember stupid rules for a full seven days?

House viewing has been a chore and I really despise moving. If and when I move, it will be the fifteenth bloody time. I said, I'm going to move above my Nan and get a firemen's pole fitted, though I have witnessed my Nan's demonic snoring so it's still under consideration :p

Our little Halloween project is now in a nice straight forward flow. I was having a mess around at designing covers and I'll put it at the bottom for you to see. Remember though, it only took 16 minutes, which would of been 10 if my internet wasn't running slow. And it was a sole effort alone, if we do release our little book, the cover will be a team effort.

Oh yes, to the point of this blog... which in no way has been a rant. As you're aware, I'm currently taking a two week break from writing my own books. I just wanted you all to know it's killing me. I'm actually starting to miss the characters I have been working with. My plan is to release Nova at the start of next year, with Maybe, Misery 2 (The Talon strand) at the back end (in the Fall). Then at the start of the next year, I will release the second part of Nova.

I don't know whether I'll last the rest of this week without writing, I get this urge to switch on my iTunes and get plodding away.

Anyway, don't forget that tomorrow is your weekly drabbles from Bryan, Nav and the short story I (quickly) adapted from four separate drabbles.

Have a nice day.

C.S

 

A Morning Quickie.

Good morning all. This is just a quick notice to let you all know that my interview type thing will be aired today instead of the 5th! Good job, I checked my emails. This is hopefully the right link: http://nerdgirlofficial.com/ or failing that, their facebook page is: https://www.facebook.com/NerdGirl.NG

To be honest, I can't really remember what I said, but hopefully you find it entertaining. I just want to say a huge thank you to Gladys and the rest of the girls over there. :)

Also, our little-big writing project is now moving along smoothly, with hopeful cameos from Tim Arnot and Ken Magee. Ken will be featured in my drabbles series, in the coming weeks.

Oh yeah, I've left a memo on my front door, letting Amazon 'not so much logic' logistics know, that I am home. Forever determined.

I almost forgot to tell you what time my interview is! It's 10 Am (PST) So I make that at 7pm English time. Enjoy the weekend :)

Determination is all you need... And lots of water.

My determination has always been my strongest quality, that and my secret confidence. I've always had this ability to get what I want even when it has seemed far from my reach. Being brought up by a single mother probably helped. Always struggling to do right by me, always working hard to provide for us and teaching me that if there was something I wanted, I had to get it myself.

It probably had something to do with me dropping out of college the first time. It wasn't giving me access to get what I want at the time. Do I regret it now? I don't at all. I may have a trivial job but that has lead me to have more focus elsewhere. It's worth mentioning that I did attempt to go back but that's a whole different story. I could easily apply for more taxing jobs, but as I see people take their work home with them, that is not something I'm willing to do.

Last year, I vowed that I would release my book and climb three mountains and I have done exactly that. Because I was fucking determined to.

After I finished work today, I've spent the day trying to sort out this new Halloween collaboration. Sorting out confusions and organising cameos from other authors. Unfortunately we have just found out that Bryan Thomas will no longer be joining due to personal reasons. It's a damn shame because he's a bloody good writer and a fantastic bloke.

It put me in a reflective mood sort of because despite all of my determination, things can still turn upside down. Now I know, you can't help certain things happening. But my question is, what happens when that determination runs out?

There are still typos in my book you know. And it infuriates me. I strived and tried so hard to make sure it was perfect. I read it endlessly until I hated the sight of it. And still they deceived me. I could go back and change the whole thing again but I really wanted it to be done with. I felt that I had deserved to have that perfect book out there and finished. They'll only little and hardly noticeable but they're still there... nagging at me constantly.

I've also missed two separate deliveries of my books due to being at work. And to make things worse, the cup I sent off to the winner of my 20/20 quiz is being sent back because the postal service failed to deliver it. So let me get this right... You're providing a service, that you can't provide? No doubt it will be delivered to my house when I'm at work.

However my determination still chugs away like the little coal train it is. I will get rid of those typos, I will make this collaboration work, I will get my books to the people I've promised them to and I will get that bloody cup to it's rightful owner!

So the next time you're thinking of giving up, remember that your determination has its rewards.

The Weekly Round-Down. (No.1)

Welcome everybody to the weekly summary. It's basically to sum up my weekly goings on, in a bid to prevent me from complaining about humanity as I do quite a lot. So let us begin...

I've been crazy bust this week, despite it being my two weeks off book writing. I finally got back to the gym... Twice! That punch bag hates me once more. I've also been writing scenarios for a fellow author to be hopefully be featured on her blog, to coincide with her book release. Don't forget to be adding NerdGirl to your reading list or liking their page on your preferred social networking site. My interview and accompanying piece about the do's and don't of self publishing is set to air and August 5th.

And guess what... I got my wish! Myself, Nav Logan, Bryan Thomas, Rick Haynes and A.K Michaels are working on a small book. We're not sure on the size yet, but it's set on Halloween and I have mentioned perhaps releasing it as a free e-book :) It's the same principle as our last two collaborations, except this time each of us portrays our own character. Mine is Police Officer Cole Fitzgerald... Get it? Cole Porter, Ella Fitzgerald. I knew you'd get it. It's worth mentioning that my Nans birthday is on Halloween :p

What else... Oh shit yeah, I've also been trying to gather other authors for my weekly drabble collection. Don't forget on Tuesday you'll get to read my drabbles turned short story, Miss Murder. It was supposed to be Wednesday, but I've already made the post. I guess I'll have to attempt some poetry. Damn.

In my limited spare time, I've been watching The Following. It's really fucking awesome, so get it watched.
DO NOT watch The 100! I've said it already and I'll say it again since it's suddenly becoming more popular. It really is awful to a point that there's nothing good to say about it, so save those precious hours of your life that you've been gifted with.

I also watched Sabotage, which was okay and worth a watch if you're in the mood for some mindless action.

I also agreed to share a teaser for the ever lovely A.K Michaels for her up coming book. I'm telling you, she's going to be famous soon. She sent me three, but two of them were of men, one with his top off. Now you may ask, why I'm not sharing them and it's simple really. You should be content with my author picture at the top of the page :D So here it is...

I'll leave you now with my Top 15 songs of the week that you should be listening to. :)
Until next time...

  (Lwp)
1. (1) Flowers – Son Lux
2. (n/a) The Matthew Effect – Nothing More
3. (n/a) Poltergeist – Deftones
4. (n/a) I’m the One – Seether
5. (11) The Courtesy Call – Aperture Science P.L
6. (n/a) Have You Ever – Incubus
7. (10) Talons – Bloc Party
8. (9) Androids – Eminem & LP
9. (7) The 2nd Law (Unsustainable) – Muse
10. (n/a) Erasus – Celldweller
11. (n/a) Comes Love – Billie Holiday
12. (n/a) Mutual Core – Bjork
13. (n/a) I’m So Sick – Flyleaf
14. (n/a) Disco – Metro Station
15. (8) The Lines – Bear Tooth