Wednesday 30 July 2014

Under a Blood Red Moon.

So this is a short story by myself, Nav Logan, Bryan Thomas and special guest A.K Michaels. The same principle as The Call of the Wild, but with an added member and a different theme, one I definitely wasn't familiar with. Once again though, it was such a brilliant experience and an easy working environment. I know it's not technically work, but I mean in the sense that we worked together so well. My only issue is, that it leaves me wanting to do it again but bigger. Can you imagine a full book, or a short story, fully improvised! That would be incredible, especially with talented authors. Nav, manages to some cram in such detailed writing in such a short space, I don't have a clue how he does it. Bryan is the dialogue genius and Ava brings the smooth, stylistic writing that has made her so popular. Since all the angles of great writing were covered, all I had to do was provide exposition. So everyone give these three a digital round of applause and I hope you enjoy.

Under a Blood Red Moon 

(Nav) The stark figure of Peter Mortimer stood out against the night-time sky. He was standing on the roof of the highest tower, letting the breeze ruffle his knee-length black coat. In the mire of the city below, chaos ruled. He loved to stand up here and smell the fear and desperation as it wafted up from the streets. It was a heady cocktail. It was almost as sweet as a virgin’s blood. The moon was just rising over the bay as he turned to his beautiful sister. “Look, Amelia, a blood moon. What an auspicious time to hunt.”

(C.S) Amelia’s blonde locks swayed in the cool breeze “My dear brother, it’s always time to hunt. The blackened sky and calmly tones of the night walkers only serves to heighten my thirst.” 
“So where shall we head? Downtown? Or are you in the mood for an upscale feast?” Peter already knew what his sister’s answer would be; Amelia has always had a taste for the refined specimen. 
As Peter gazed over lovingly at his sibling, she puckers her lips covered in rose red lipstick “I think tonight, we should attend the Hardy’s ball. I can smell them from here.” 

(A.K) "As can I, dear sister. Now, are you planning on dining al fresco or in more intimate surroundings?" Peter was well aware of his sister's appetite was vast in areas other than blood. He watched as a feral smile played across her lips, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips before answering.
"Oh I think I'll be dining in private tonight, Peter, away from prying eyes. You know how those aristocrats do like to gossip and I have my reputation to keep. I'm sure you'll be your usual charming self and keep them well entertained." Amelia turned, walking away swiftly.

(Bryan Thomas) Peter watched his sister until she was out of sight. He had always been protective of her, just like a big brother should be, but now Amelia was more than capable of looking after herself. He reflected on the time, almost three centuries ago, when he had taught her how to select her first victim. How the correct time and place were of the utmost importance if a stealthy escape was to be achieved. He recalled her youthful enthusiasm, and how he'd had to temper her visceral approach. 
Meanwhile, Amelia was lost in the pulsating timbre of the city streets.

(Nav) Amelia had a fondness for aristocratic blood, but Peter preferred his blood red, not blue. The arrogance of the upper classes ruined his appetite.
He understood his sister’s lusts. 
He’d long ago faced the fact that his sibling was a cold-blooded killer. She relished the look in the eyes of her victims as their world came crashing down around them, the orgasmic rush.
He preferred to sample the fruits of many vines. A night of seduction that they would never forget. A quick bite while they were in the throes of passion, and then he would be gone. Forever mourned.
(C.S) As they approached the Hardy’s residence, Peter looked on in pity. A ginormous estate, full of wonder but compared to his home, it was a shanty town. Peter strongly believed that he and his sister were the most powerful siblings in the new world, and nothing could convince him otherwise. 
Amelia, dressed in a long red gown, glanced over at her brother and admired his stylistic look, his poise and the way he held himself. Their close relationship was a hot topic of gossip for many others. Cloaked by masquerade masks, they entered the premises with the promise of a feast. 

(Bryan) Amelia's entrance was no different from any other function she had ever attended, she walked through the ornate, double doors like the world was hers for the taking. Peter sensed something as soon as they set foot in the hallway, a presence that he had not felt for many years. Amelia was oblivious to Peter's controlled manner as she embraced the atmosphere of the Grand Ballroom with all of her senses. Peter turned as a voice sent a chill down his spine. "Peter, do introduce me to your friend, if you will?" It was Jason Thorne, the world-renowned vampire killer.

(Ava) Amelia turned quickly, a demure smile on her face as her eyes raked the tall, brooding man standing next to him. "Peter, who is this handsome man? Have you been keeping him from me, dear brother?"
Peter's smile was forced as his eyes locked with Jason's, "This is Jason Thorne, Amelia, and I can assure you that, yes, I have indeed been keeping the two of you apart."
Jason stepped forward to shake Amelia's hand, but instead of the slight handshake that would be the norm, he brought it to his lips, caressing it with his lips as his eyes bored into Amelia's.

(Nav) “I’m Jason Thorne, how do you do. It’s a pleasure to meet you?”
“The pleasure’s all mine,” she purred. Her eyes raked over his muscular body.
“You must be the insatiable Amelia Mortimer. I’ve heard so much about you. I’ve been looking forward to making your acquaintance.”
Amelia had always thought she knew everybody who was anybody, so why had her brother kept this hunk from her? Curiosity tingled her nerves. “Peter! Have you been keeping this wonderful chap to yourself?” she asked playfully. She knew her brother occasionally liked to play around, though he refused to admit his bisexuality.
(C.S) Peter shrugged off his beloved sister’s comment and knew that whether he liked it or not, Amelia would be having her wicked way with Jason tonight. 
What Jason didn’t know, was that Amelia’s idea of a ‘good time’ and his interpretation were never one in the same. As the vampire hunter appeared a target, Peter turned his attentions elsewhere.   
Across the masses of upper class day breathers, stood four people Peter recognized and in a sense, longed for. They called themselves The Dangerous Brothers. Long known for escapades and adventures, Peter longed to feast upon their flesh, particularly the sister of the four.   
(Bryan) Chris slammed his hand onto the control console, as the vampire simulation evaporated before the Dangerous Brothers eyes.
"Whaddya do that for!" said Nav.
"I was enjoying that," Bryan protested. 
"But you weren't the character of Amelia, that fucking bustle was killing me!" said Chris.
"You look good in a dress," said Nav.
"Button it, bucko!" said Chris.
“Actually, you do.” said Bryan.
“The next joker that mentions anything about me in feminine attire gets a slap in the chops,” said Chris.
“Anybody fancy a pint?” said Nav.
“Too right,” said Chris, as he fired up the Blacksmith’s Arms simulation.

The End

Tuesday 29 July 2014

Stories And Other Scribblings. (No.3)

It's time for you to hang up those work boots, send the small children to bed and read some entertaining shorts by myself and two gents who are surely enough becoming regulars, Mr. Nav Logan and Mr. Bryan Thomas. Next week, as opposed to drabbles, I will be sharing a short story I have written that has been transformed from four drabbles to about 800 words. Also as if you couldn't take any more excitement, tomorrow (in place of the poetry) I will be sharing the short story I've been working on with Nav, Bryan and A.K Michaels. :)

False Control by C.S.Bailey

You push me around, you decide when I eat and you disrupt my sleep at every possible chance.
You shout at me when you’re angry, you hug me when you’re happy and I’m never sure of what mood you’re in.

You stroke my hair and call me your best friend until someone else comes along.
As I lie here feeling abandoned, I cry in silence wondering if this is all that there is to my life.

I’m tired of this life of mine, constantly waiting for you to take care of my needs.

I’m through with being Stuart’s prized puppy.

Breaking the Habit by Nav Logan
It’s time I faced facts. I need to break the habit.
My life has changes so much since I started. The peer pressure is killing me. I’m not cut out for this life. I haven’t got enough self-discipline.
Depression was my downfall. I was searching for happiness. That’s when I saw them, huddling together. I thought to myself, yes, that could be the life for me. 
Before I knew it I’d become one of them.
Soon, it took over my whole life.

Sometimes though, I wish I wasn’t a nun. I miss the sex and the parties.


The New Teacher by Bryan Thomas

"How was your new teacher today, sweetie?"
"Miss Armitage? She's really nice, she's very pretty and she has really long black hair."
"She sounds lovely."
"She is. We all like her."
"Wonderful."
"She has two teaching jobs."
"She works in another primary school as well?"
"No, she does her other job from home."
"She must be doing some sort of home tuition then."
"I think that's what she said but she uses a different name from her name in school."
"Really? That's a little unusual."
"I suppose."
"Did she happen to mention her home tuition name, sweetie?"
"Yeah, Miss Whiplash."


Sunday 27 July 2014

The Joys of Decision Making.

You know, I wasn't going to blog until Tuesday but I couldn't help it. I've had a lot on and a lot to think about recently. I've been trying to think of more blog posts that have more substance rather than me just rambling on about everyday things. But I have been hovering close to ranting territory later, haven't I?

So, yeah, so far we have the writings of myself and others on a Tuesday, the fucking attempt at poetry Wednesdays. Then on Friday, I will post my top fifteen song chart of the week and a round-up of film and T.v stuff. I'll also have one day to share recent goings on. So that's four posts a week, with (hopefully) minimal complaining about humanity.

Oh, I got my first review for Maybe, Misery! It was okay... It got 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon UK. I was a little disappointed by that eluding fifth star to be honest. However it was unbiased so I guess it's kind of good.

The last time I posted I was speaking about whether I'm going to write any more (books). Well I was at work last night and I was talking to the lovely woman who I've mentioned before. We'll call her Sally (i) from now on. She said in a manner of speaking, that it would be stupid for me not to write any more. Explaining that if I love it then why not? Sally (i) has a good point. She also explained that if doing something I love, requires me to work in a job surrounded by stupid managers then I should just get on with it.

Then she went on to say that I had a talent, it's safe to say I went all secretly shy.

So what I'm going to do is take a short break (if I allow myself) and get back to the gym more. It'll be no longer than two weeks. Then I'm going to work simultaneously on Maybe, Misery 2 (The Talon Strand) and Nova, the latter of which will be a short story available for free download.

Oh yeah, the short story I have been working on with Nav Logan, Bryan Thomas and A.K Michaels is going smoothly. We've just reached 1000 words, submitting 100 words each in turn. It's a great exercise in improvising and it's been a pleasure working with them all. To me, it's like working with celebrities so I always feel constantly out of my depth. Because if you think about, they are someone's favourite authors.

Anyway troubles, if you don't hear from me until Tuesday, enjoy Monday the best you can.

Much love,

C.S

Saturday 26 July 2014

Aftermath(s)

How do you fit six books into a box? Well if Amazons express delivery option is anything to go by, you cram them in and bend them! Fuckers. As a gift to the people that purchased both acts of my book on paperback, I said I would give them a full copy of the full book. How nice am I? :p

So I've just got to bloody send them off or give them out and wait anxiously for reviews. I haven't really got much in the form of things to say today. I've been thinking about whether I'm going to write another book or not, more and more. And even though I have been writing, I've stopped until I make up my mind. Well except for any collaborating stories.

I mean, it was simply on my bucket list to write a book and I've done that now. So is there any need to continue that? Even if I enjoy it. If I wanted, I could have the first part of Nova released by the end of the year followed by Maybe, Misery 2 next year. I'm just not to sure at the moment.

Anyway here is the Top 15 chart of the week!

   (Lwp)
1. (n/a) Flowers – Son Lux
2. (1) Androids – Eminem & LP
3. (2) Beaten in lips – Bear tooth
4. (3) Again we Rise – Lamb of God
5. (n/a) Drones – Eminem & LP
6. (11) The 2nd Law (Unsustainable) – Muse
7. (7) The Lines – Bear Tooth
8. (n/a) Flux – Bloc Party
9. (6) Talons – Bloc Party
10. (n/a) Summer Time – Mae
11. (9) The Courtesy Call – Aperture Science P.L
12. (n/a) Summertime Sadness – Lana Del Rey
13. (8) Claws – Son Lux
14. (5) All Along the Watchtower – Jimi Hendrix
15. (10) Sex & Lies – Nothing More

Friday 25 July 2014

Chaos Incarnate.

I guess if I was to summon today up, it would be with a sigh of relief. It's just been stupidly crazy. I did end up staying up all night and my plan to tag everyone is a status worked like a treat. My phones was beeping away during an exceptionally busy day at work.
Today went off almost flawlessly even though, half an hour ago, I found out my book was now available on another website, which was a bit late. Asides from that though it's been great.

The support I've had from everyone has been excellent, well except from my family... but what is family for, if to not disappoint and make you realise that the only thing you need in life, is your own determination. Obviously, I do not include my Nan and a few other members in this small jab. Perhaps I should lie more, pretend to be friends with the people I don't like, then I'll go jump in my helicopter and fly off to fucking la-la land. If you're not yourself, then you're just a shallow empty husk playing pretend. My mother did raise me to be honest, which I'm sure she regrets. So my love goes out to all my friends and all my fellow Kuffers.

Anyway, I've been getting my stuff ready for my first author take over, which should be weird. You know me and communication don't mix. I'll post more details soon perhaps.

I've been considering alternatives for blog posts, now that Threes a Crowd has gone. I was thinking about writing an article about different aspects of humanity each week, what do you guys reckon? I don't want it to seem like ranting though. Saying that, I'm continuously amused by the notion of entitling a post: Fuck-A-Duck Face :p

Fucking Facebook today! As you may know, I've started using my author page again as I've had quite a few new likes and people have been interacting with my posts. So today of all days, I post my book links and such on it... "Your post has reached 7 people. Boost post." SEVEN FUCKING PEOPLE! Thanks a fucking bunch Facebook.

I also noticed that a few of my blog views come from the same areas in America each week. Now you have to bare in mind, that the Blogger map isn't exactly Google; but I narrowed it down to Alaska and the Mid section, like Kansas, Missouri, Colorado type areas. And that's a guess, like I said it's not Google maps. Anyway, I just wanted to say a big thank you to you guys and/or girls for reading my blog. Unless you're some kind of moderator for Blogger, then that's not exactly fair is it. If they even have moderators? The fuck if I know.  

And if I hear one more person go on about 'that' trailer, I swear, I'm going to chuck myself out of a window. When you have to announce the exclusive version of a song in a trailer for a film, you should start to worry. It's going to be shockingly awful, but they'll go and see it anyway, just like all the remakes they complain about. "Oh as if they're rebooting Pop-up Pete. Hollywood should die! Do something original!" A few months later... "What shall we do tonight?" "Lets go and see the new Pop-up Pete film!"

I do amuse myself.

I've forgotten to post my top songs of the week, so I may do that tomorrow. Until then, happy weekend... Or MAYBE, it'll be full of MISERY... See what I did there? :p

Thursday 24 July 2014

Every Dog has it's Day!

I waited so long but my day has finally come! Maybe, Misery is out NOW! So get it, love it and spread the word! (Hopefully)

The Links are (Digital Download Prices) -

Amazon UK (£0.77)
Amazon US ($1.01)
Barnes And Noble ($0.99)
Kobo (£0.99)
iTunes
Scribd ($0.99)

Don't for get to leave your reviews :) Your opinions are important you know.

Note to blog readers - I've already told you all that, I won't use the blog to spam about my book and after this post, I will keep my promise. The links will be placed in my links section and that will be all... Well unless I get any new information i.e. Links for other Amazon sites and so on but there will be no further posts dedicated to it.

Late nights And Bright Ideas.

So it's 22:25 here as I type this. I should be going to sleep since I'm up at four for work but I'm not. I've just got too much to do tomorrow! How am I supposed to promote my book whilst I'm at work? I don't have a bloody clue. I'm also considering moving house but I don't know whether to. It's decent for work (except for the uphill bike ride on my death trap of a bike - it now rattles AND creaks), it's decent for the gym and breakfast shops. It's close to my Nans as well. It doesn't help that the WI-FI is being cancelled soon so I don't know whether to continue it or just wait until I move. I'm well aware this all sounds under-dramatic but it just couldn't of come at a worse time! I'm in an indecisive mood and it's affecting the joy of releasing a book... Well plus the fact that I'm at work.

So my plan is... I will publish the pre-written blog at about 3-4 AM and post on Kuf ready for the morning. Then I will hit the face book with a long status, tagging numerous people in a hope that they share it.  When I get home from work, I will hit up my personal authors account, TWI- what the fuck is going on -TTER and my authors page. Sounds like a plan?

Well asides from the lack of sleep. Oh, good news, I'll be appearing on the NerdGirl blog on August 5th I think she said, so get them looked up. I'll remind you closer to the time, I've written a small piece on the pro's and cons of self-publishing (sort of).

My plan is to get forty three reviews on Amazon, that's three times as many as the first act got so it makes sense. If that happens, I'll be happy.

Anyway, obviously my next post will be all links and shit, but I'll see you guys soon. Enjoy the time in between.

C.S

 

Three's A Crowd: The Last One!

Yes, you read it right. This is the last ever post of our little series... Well unless more people want to take part. I just want to say a huge thank you to all this weeks guests and the guest from past posts as well.

1. Do I have the permission to share your name? If not, what should we call you?
S: You can call me SpongeBob (Laughs)
T: Share my name and picture, just make sure it’s a good picture (Editor note: Stop asking for picture permission when I keep forgetting to get a picture.)
Stef: Yep

2. Age? 
SpongeBob: 27
Tom: 30
Stef: Very nearly 26

3. Occupation?
S: Shop assistant
T: Super evil villain by day and a supper awesome support worker by night
Stef: Sales Administrator

4. Have you heard any unimportant news made to seem important?
S: Don’t really watch the news or read the newspaper
T: I once heard we have a new pope
Stef: I wouldn’t know where to start… 90% is just rubbish!

5. Marvel or DC?
S: Marvel
T: DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE!!!
Stef: Marvel!!!

6. T.V show of the week?
S: Ex on the beach
T: Fargo
Stef: I’m about three years behind but I’m catching up on Justified, best T.V show ever!

7. The last brilliant film you watched?
S: Lone survivor
T: The Wolf of Wall Street
Stef: Django Unchained

8. How do you feel about a vast amount of men and women appearing in pornography?
S: Doesn’t really bother me as i don’t watch porn
T: Everyone has to earn a living i guess. I'd do porn if i wasn't married, chubby and had a hamsters dick
Stef: It should be illegal

9. If you ruled the world, what one thing would you change first?
S: Child abuse
T: I'd chuck religion right out the freaking window. That's step one to a better world
Stef: I'd kill majority of leaders and start again, there'd definitely be no parliament!

10. What is your favourite sexual position and why?
Missionary because I’m a lazy person and doesn’t take much effort (Laughs)
T: The Wheelbarrow
Stef: How rude! Can’t comment on that :p

11. Do you believe there should be a national holiday to celebrate being naked?
S: I don’t care either way, each to their own
T: LET'S DO IT!
Stef: No! Can you imagine some of the sights!

12. If you could get away with murdering someone you despise, how would you do it?
S: Cut their limbs off one by one and then lie them in a bath of salt and then leave them there to die knowing they have no way of getting themselves out
T: I'd shoot them down a dark alley then I would pin it on somebody else i despise
Stef: Slowly

13. If you had one day left to live, what would you spend it doing?
S: I’d spend it enjoying precious time with the ones i love
T: Hiking or Holding my family tight
Stef: I’d spend it painting with my daughter

14. Who is your favorite Game of Thrones character and why?
S: The hound
T:  What’s Game of Thrones?
Stef: Like I said, I’m well behind with T.V! I’ve not watched it!

15. Do you have a special piece of underwear you wear when you know there is a chance they’ll be seen?
S: No
T: I have Superman boxers with a cape. They are freaking awesome!
Stef: No, I have OCD so it’s all plain and matching! (Laughs)

16. Song of the week?
S: John Legend – All of Me
T: House of the Rising Son by the White Buffalo and the Forrest Rangers
Stef: MJ & JT

17. Do you believe that religion is a truly awful fairytale, meant to control humanity and inspire false hope?
S: I’m not religious so yes
T: Religion is the route to all evil
Stef: Yes but not put as harshly as that

18. The last book that got you sexually stimulated? 
S: I don’t know I couldn't open it. It was sticky (Laughs)
T: Harry Potter
Stef: I just read horror so that’d be sinister

19. Quote of the week?
S: If you don’t ask you don’t get
T: I'm usually not the one to say atodaso, but you know what? Atodaso, a fuckin atodaso
Stef: Oh Balls!

20. What annoys you more than anything else?
S: Ignorance
T: Ignorance
Stef: Ignorance

21. And last but not least, what are your feelings about bestiality? 
S: It’s just wrong
T: Depends if the animal is consenting
Stef: What are my feelings?! It doesn't tickle my pickle if that’s what you mean…

Wednesday 23 July 2014

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.5)

Love Hurts

The darkness looms
Upon this room
Filled with fear and fright

I climb from my bed
Hands covered it red
Seeking eternal light

I succumb to her charms
She suppressed my qualms
Our love was tried and true

As time went by
My patience she'd try
Our happy days were down to a few

I suffered each day
I wanted away
Our arguments came on cue

I'd make you pay
In this month of May
As I crept in and murdered you

Tuesday 22 July 2014

Late Nights and Bright Lights.

What a gloriously sunny day it was today! To my American readers, we rarely see the sun, so when it comes out and stays out; it's a notable surprise. Stupid me decided to take my bike to work and what seemed like the hottest day of the year, it wasn't pleasant.

On the plus side, it's my two days off now and then guess what it is? It's book release day!!! One day of being everywhere talking about my book and then I can move on (sort of). This week has been kind of a blur and filled with indecisiveness. I can't decide whether to move or not because where I am now is convenient for the gym, work and my Nan. I could just buy some ear plus and avoid a murder charge... I just don't know.

I've been writing everyday recently and you know what? I fucking love it! I haven't felt like this in ages! I don't know whether I'll ever have a career as a writer but I enjoy writing, so why not. As long as I stick to my guns and never write a book like that fucking awful mess of grey... or whatever the fuck it's called.

I've just finished writing my peace for Nerd Girl about the pros and cons of self-publishing. It seems to be half decent, we'll see I guess. I'll let you guys no when it's up in case you want to read it.

Oh yeah, A.K. Michaels has agreed to appear in The Call of the Wild 2 even if it's just a 100 word cameo :)

I think that's it for now, my eye lids are getting to heavy to carry. I don't need to tell you what's coming tomorrow do I? Because I bloody haven't thought of anything else to put there yet. So join me tomorrow for some on-the-spot shocking poetry attempt.

Enjoy your days and nights, wherever you are.

Stories And Other Scribblings. (No.2)

So it's that time again folks. I'm joined once again this week by Mr. Nav Logan and Bryan Thomas with some excellent drabbles from them both. Remember you can find out more about them by clicking their names on the links section. I hope you enjoy :)

Hungry For Love by C.S.Bailey

So I search endlessly, prowling searching for the one
Who shall be mine, at least for the night?
I’m not too fussy, blonde, black, red head or brunette
Even had a close shave, Gillette, the best a man can get
I arrive at the club, it’s ostentatious and loud
She stands there swaying around to the awful sounds and I am mesmerized
I walk up beside her strut my stuff as she looks at me with true disgust
My rotting sheered flesh, my putrid stench and my tattered clothes
ZOMBIE! She shouts.


What’s the matter baby? I’d eat you alive.

Death by Editing by Nav Logan

My dreams are filled with commas and exclamation marks. It is a world of to’s, two’s and too’s. I wrestle with conundrums in my sleep, should I use Oxford commas or not? Would that phrase be better with that or which?
In my dreams I scroll through lines of text, beating them into submission. I reach the end only to start again at the beginning. Every time I do, I find new errors to battle over. Paranoia blames the auto-correct, my imagination blames the faeries.

I feel like Sisyphus and his accursed boulder, but my prison is made of words.

Memory Foam by Bryan Thomas
 
Alan traced his finger lovingly along Samantha's hairline. He followed the line of her nose, hesitating for a moment before continuing over her full lips. He then ran his finger over her left cheek with his delicate, surgeon's touch. He was precise, almost mechanical, until his actions gave way to a shiver, sexual in its nature, which ran throughout the length of his body as he recalled the deed with vivid clarity.

He returned the pillow that he had smothered Samantha with to the cupboard. It sat alongside another four pillows. Soon, Alan would add another pillow to his collection.

Rising Woes by C.S.Bailey

It’s bloody 5:20 A.M,
I wake flustered with sweat dripping from every orifice.
Haunted by dreams of anger, death and heart ache yet surrounded overall by numbness
What on earth is that smell?
I stumble up from my bed; sheets ruffled and proceed to investigate.
Hazy eyed, I head to the kitchen… Nothing there
Living room… Nothing there
Dining room… Nothing there
What the hell is that foul stench!?
Finally I give up. I decide to head to the bathroom for a middle of the night pee.

As I swing open the door, there lies the body in the tub.

Monday 21 July 2014

Tomorrow - Today.

So anyway, jump past yesterdays angered post and today is a new day, but not as new as tomorrow. You see, tomorrow is the point of no return. Any last changes I want to make have to be done tomorrow in time for release day. I've already changed the author photo. Literally, the exact same photo but in black and white. I have no decent pictures at all! I think that's it though to be honest, which is such a relief to say. 

I completed my interview for Nerd-Girl and it was kind of weird answering questions, I enjoyed it though. They have asked me to create a topic to talk about. The safe option would probably be my book, but I'm not sure what is left to say. So I don't bloody know what I'm going to talk about... Maybe film or music, who knows.

I just can't wait to get back to the gym next week, I have missed it. Perhaps it's why I've been so volatile recently, the lack of a punch bag. Plus I'm supposed to be doing a run in September (as much as I hate running) and I haven't even attempted a run since my knee is still shit. 

Don't forget that tomorrow we'll have more drabbles from myself, Nav Logan and Bryan Thomas. Which fucking reminds me, I still have to find something for Wednesday that doesn't include shocking poetry. Thursday, three's a crowd returns but I think it may be the last one... I'm not sure how many sets of answers I have left. 

Until tomorrow Earthlings.  

Sunday 20 July 2014

Troglodytes Everywhere.

Well they are. It's like the world has been infected by this virus, from which millions of people have become mindless, manner-less, inconsiderate and intolerable ass holes. Now I'll admit that I may be slightly self-absorbed but that's my survivalist attitude. That does not mean that I lack etiquette. I finished work this morning and go to sleep at about half 7, only to be woke up at 11 by some inconsiderate bastard. And you know it's time to move when you wake up grasping the handle of a hammer. Needless to say, house hunting has begun.

I'm fairly laid back and I have the capacity to be friendly but when you are one of this disease ridden Neanderthals, that's when my temper rises. Like for example, every Saturday night for the past two years, I have gone to work, plugged in my earphones and got on with my job. I work days all week, so music gives me that little boost to keep me awake all day and bloody night. Recently we have two new managers who are in basic terms, big cunts.

Trying to alter our established ways for their own petty gratification. Perhaps they have no control over their own lives, so they feel the need to inflict their dominance on others. Last weekend, I had to be told four times to take my earphones out. I thought he would of got the message that his opinion wasn't relevant by then... Sadly though, he appeared too stupid.

Last night another new waste of sperm was in charge of the shift. I went in, earphones ready and in the group meeting beforehand claimed that earphones were once again not allowed. It's safe to say I was furious, I could feel myself going red with anger, like an uncontrollable thirst for violence. They claim it's for health and safety. HEALTH AND SAFETY! I've been alive for 27 fucking years! In case of a fire they say... Oh, because I wouldn't notice the fucking orange glow of the flames or the other staff running for their lives!

It would appear that they create these stupid rules, not to protect the people, but to protect the companies. It's absurd and all I ask is, if you are one of these troglodytes; is that you leave me alone. It's not that fucking difficult. I go to work and I leave work, that is the extent of its involvement in my life. Now you may say "But Chris, you're talking about work now." However I am not, I am talking about the utter idiots who populate the world we live in that are quite obviously deprived of brain cells. I will be back next week with my earphones, rebelling against stupid rules... because someone has to.

Anyway, that wasn't a rant because I promised not to do that. It was a... calmly spoken piece of writing expressing my feelings towards those people we could live without. Luckily I was working with someone moderately entertaining last night, so it wasn't all bad. On a brighter note, it's only five days until Maybe, Misery comes out! All I need to do is change my bloody author picture. I was talking to the lovely Sally(i) last night and she suggested I shouldn't scowl on it... Almost implying that I make a habit of scowling. I also signed one of the singular acts of my book which was weird and I will not get used to that.

I've been writing a lot recently and it's great to be back in the mood for it. Though I don't like what I've written. I'm not saying it's shit, but it's just more of an adventure than the first book... It's more friendly, I guess is the term.

I apologise for the negative spin today, I'm not one for airing my problems in public but it does seem like a growing number of people seem to be a waste of oxygen. It's becoming a pandemic. Anyway, I hope you all had a lovely weekend, especially my American readers who still have Sunday to come.

C.S

Friday 18 July 2014

7 Days of Misery.

Yes, that's right folks... In what has been the longest month of my life, there remains only seven days! I've spent my time contacting review type people including nerd girl to sort out reviews once the book is released and a possible interview!

I've also been talking to Nav Logan and Bryan Thomas about a sequel to The call of the Wild. We're all a bit busy with our books but we're going to make time for it. It's going to be bigger and may include more bananas :p I also wouldn't mind getting more authors involved, even if only for a cameo... I may have to send some messages out.

What else... Oh yes, I'm already half way through the first draft of the second book to Maybe, Misery with the working title - The Talon Strand. I really really want to share some of it! Maybe I should wait until the first book is out! I'm always over-eager... unless it's to get to work on time ha ha.

There's only one thing I'm not happy about and that's my author photo... it's fucking awful! I may have to change it... The point of no return is Tuesday night so I've got a few days left.

I've decided Maybe, Misery is an evolving drama. That's a new genre and yes I made it up but it makes sense. It doesn't fit in to one specific genre, I'm sure Kobo have listed it as Science Fiction! It's not a Sci-Fi! Though an argue could be made that it's Science - Fiction :p

To me, Maybe Misery is a drama about a man struggling with his own life. Everything else is in the background, it's about Talon and his endless struggle.

I'll warn you now, on Friday I will be everywhere promoting my book (well after work anyway). There will be links flying like saucers. I apologise now, but it's for one day only, afterwards they'll be confined to my links section as promised. I may even create a separate page for all the bloody links.

Anyway, that's enough talking for now. Here's my top 15 of the week:


  1. Androids - Eminem and LP
  2. Beaten in Lips - Beartooth
  3. Again We Rise - Lamb of God
  4. Radiate - Enter Shikari
  5. Jimi Hendrix - All Along the Watchtower
  6. Talons - Bloc Party
  7. The Lines - Beartooth
  8. Claws - Son Lux
  9. The Courtesy Call - Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory 
  10. Sex & Lies - Nothing More
  11. The 2nd Law (Unsustainable) - Muse
  12. Shatter - Feeder
  13. Gold Cobra - Limp Bizkit
  14. Sail - Awolnation
  15. Twinge - Chevelle

Thursday 17 July 2014

Three's A Crowd Thursdays! All Woman Special. (No.5)

A special thank you goes out to my guests this week :)

1. Do I have the permission to share your name? If not, what should we call you?
L: Yeah whatever, Lisa will do nicely or failing that God works too (Laughs)
S: Suzy
L: Yes

2. Age?
Lisa (God): Bloody cheek!! 34 *said in a quiet mutter*
Suzy: 26
Laura: 25

3. Occupation?
L: Art teacher. I used to teach criminals how to paint flowers I was once told but I am moving in to schools (Editor Laughs at the in joke concerning Maybe, misery.)
S: Cashier
Laura: Assistant manager

4. Have you heard any unimportant news made to seem important?
L: Weather reports? Do they count?
S: Katie price's split from husband number 3... People split up all the time... It's not important at all but made headline news in the papers!
Laura: The duke and duchess of Cambridge touring Australia and New Zealand, so what?

5. Marvel or DC?
L: Oh... That's just too difficult. Depends on who is playing the characters too
Laura: Marvel

6. T.V show of the week?
L: Right now? None really, I guess 24 but i haven't gotten round to watching it yet
S: Difficult one to answer as, I usually just watch Coronation Street which is classed as a soap
Laura: Holly-oaks
 
7. The last brilliant film you watched?
L: Maleficent. If I were ever to have sex with a woman Angelina Jolie would be the one. Aside from that, it was a really good film.
S: Maleficent, this is a really good film to watch.
Laura: The conjuring

8. How do you feel about a vast amount of men and women appearing in pornography?
L: Their parents must be very proud.
S: Doesn't bother me at all the amount of women and men appearing in pornography!
Laura: No problem

9. If you ruled the world, what one thing would you change first?
L: Bring back capital punishment. Actually, I'd handle the justice system worldwide because it's a sodding mess!
S: Bring back the death penalty!
Laura: The benefits system

10. What is your favorite sexual position and why?
L: Depends on how I feel. Doggy is a good choice for depth. Missionary for a quickie, I could go on for a while here and get a bit heated so I'll leave it at that.
S: A very personal question... Skip this one (Laughs)
Laura: Doggy, it’s just the best

11. Do you believe there should be a national holiday to celebrate being naked?
L: Not with my body (Laughs). Could it be just the men who were naked? If so then yes!
S: No but I believe there should be a national holiday for St George's day!
Laura: Not fussed

12. If you could get away with murdering someone you despise, how would you do it?
L: I've watched Dexter, be warned sweetheart...
S: Torture for a long, long time until dead
Laura: Stab them in the neck

13. If you had one day left to live, what would you spend it doing?
L: Fuck knows but whatever it was, it would be with the people I love.
S: Be with my dog and enjoying being with her on a beach somewhere and enjoy watching her enjoy herself and I would spoil her rotten!!
Laura: Having sex

14. Who is your favourite Game of Thrones character and why?
L: Oh bloody hell! My mother keeps on at me to watch this so don't you bloody start. I have no idea.
S: Don't watch game of thrones
Laura: Don’t watch it

15. Do you have a special piece of underwear you wear when you know there is a chance they'll be seen?
L: My apple scrumpers and triumph bra!! (Laughs), Erm i have some nice bras and knickers but I'm married now so he wouldn't bloody notice anyway.
S: Nope
Laura: Not anything specific

16. Song of the week?
L: I've got Def Leopard in the car at the moment so I'll go with "Animal"
S: I like Little Mix's new record Salute!
Laura: Mr. Probs – Waves

17. Do you believe that religion is a truly awful fairytale, meant to control humanity and inspire false hope?
L: I think it's what people want it to be. I'm not religious, i don't believe in fate or karma or even an afterlife (although i am intrigued by that one) but i do understand the need for people to feel comfort in the ideology that there is something other than this and that there is a greater purpose. I think it can be used or abused as a form of control but people do have choices. I guess it's harder for some people to make those depending on manipulation and their situation. There is too much scientific facts these days that contradict religion so one belief if factual and visible and the other is invisible and unproven and all you can do it believe it's there. I'm more of a see it for myself so I'll find out for sure one day i guess (Laughs)
S: Yes I do... Religion is the cause of more death and war in this world!
Laura: Yes

18. And last but not least, what are your feelings about bestiality? 
L: Oh dear... Only you would come up with that one
S: It's totally wrong and vile and whoever engages in this should be castrated!
Laura: I don't agree with it but I suppose if the animal is the one performing the act it's not as bad. Humans have the power to say yes or no but animals don't.






Wednesday 16 July 2014

The Call of the Wild: Three Bananas

What a brilliant idea this was. Gather three writers and get them to contribute 100 words at a time to a story. Every time I received the newest version back, I have to improvise and continue the story, as did they. It's been great fun and gives me ideas. Anyway enough talking... Here is The Call of the Wild: Three Bananas by Nav Logan, C.s.Bailey and Bryan Thomas. It's been a pleasure lads...

(Nav) The early morning was quite as we stalked through the woodlands. The air held the first crispness of winter. The dawn chorus was merely a couple of raucous crows, arguing like old women. We moved silently through the undergrowth. The breeze ruffled my hair as we continued, bringing with it the musky scent of boar. My rifle felt cumbersome in my arms, an unfamiliar weight. My heart raced with excitement, that heady rush of adrenaline. I heard the snapping of a twig up ahead and dived to the ground just in time. Paint splattered a tree beside my ear.

(Chris) "Bryan! Watch your bloody fire!" yelled an obviously angered Nav. From my crouched position behind the large oak tree, I light out a sly grin. Nav has always taken paint balling way too serious; he goes as far as to wear green and black face paint.
"Sorry Nav, I slipped on some moss." Nav just grunts and continues to advance. Suddenly Nav jumps out of his pale skin by the ringing of his phone.
"Hold on lads… Computer pause simulation." The vast forest disappears around us and we are stood in a light blue square room. Nav answers his phone…

(Bryan) "Hello? Yeah, hold on a mo…" Nav takes the phone away from his ear and smothers it under his military jacket.
"It's the missus, she wants to know when I'll be home, I promised to re-roof the rabbit hutch today."
"Pfft!" said Chris.
 "You didn't tell her we're paintballing, did you?"
"Um, yeah… she has a way of kinda… choking these things out of me."
"Nav!" said Bryan.
"The first rule of paintball club is you 'do not' mention paintball freakin' club!"
"Sorry, lads, these things happen. Shit! She's still on hold, she'll be absolutely bloody fuming," said Nav.

(Nav) Sometime later, they are eating in the chipper. Nav knows that he’s already up shit creek with the missus, so a large bouquet of roses rests on the table next to his kebab. The other two comedians have finally stopped giving him stick, though the occasional whip effect can still be heard.
“How’s about some golf after this?” asked Bryan eagerly.
“What is it with you and that stupid game?” complained Chris.
“You can’t even play it.”
“I’m better than you, numb-nuts.” Bryan protested. Nav rolls his eyes.
“Lads, come on. Your ma’s gonna kill me if we’re late again!”

(Chris) Bryan looks over at Nav with a scowl yet no words grace us with their presence from his open mouth, only a view of mashed up meat. Chris gazes over at the blue neon sign stating that the establishment is open
“Nav, do you ever wonder what we're our lives are going?” Bryan stops chewing for a moment and looks at Nav.
“Chris, stop being bloody over-dramatic will you! Every time a grenade goes off or a burst of laser fire passes us by, you get worse! Go home and see your cat, for tomorrow we’ve got a job to do.”

(Bryan) The following day, Chris, Nav and Bryan are parked around the corner from the Clogthorpe branch of the Halifax Bank.
"Got yer bananas ready?" said Nav.
"Mine's loaded," said Chris.
"I don't think this is a good idea," said Bryan, "a banana doesn't even look like a gun."
"Just put it in the black sock like we've done," said Chris.
"Say somebody calls my bluff?" said Bryan.
"Trust me, I've done this before, they'll be too busy shitting themselves," said Nav.
"Balaclavas on!"
"Check!" said Chris.
"Check!" said Bryan.
Nav opened the door of his Skoda Yeti "Let's freakin' rock!"

(Nav) They burst through the doors of Halifax like a bunch of party poppers on New Year’s Eve, waving their bananas threateningly. Nav hadn’t been wearing socks so his fruit glared brightly in the neon lighting.
“On the ground!” yelled Chris. The newly-acquired robo-guards XLS2000 opened fire. Stun grenades flew like it was bonfire night and the streaks of laser-fire lit up the room with an impressive lightshow. Sadly, the ambient lift-music did little to reflect the surrounding chaos. Nav looked for the exit through tear-filled eyes. He’d become disorientated.
“Shit!”
“THROW DOWN YOUR FRUIT AND SURRENDER!” bellowed over the loudspeakers.

(Chris) As Bryan cowered on the floor, yearning to be safe in the old Skoda, Chris knew it was up to him and his banana to save his two companions. He ran at the robo-guards with full force, only to trip over a plug and fall flat on his face.
As he peered upwards red faced like beetroot, the humanoid faces of the guards seemed amused. They didn’t realize that this gave Nav the chance to unleash a time-stalling grenade. As the clocks froze, the three bananas grabbed as many five pounds notes as they could and ran for the door.

(Bryan) Nav was whittling a piece of wood into a phallic shape, while Chris pulled the wings off a nondescript fly.
“How long are we gonna have to lie low?” said Bryan.
“As long as it takes,” said Nav.
“If they catch us we’ll be looking at a five stretch,” said Chris.
“I don’t wanna be some drug dealer’s bitch,” said Bryan.
“At least you’d be gettin’ it regularly,” said Chris.
“Given the choice, I’d rather be the sausager than the sausagee,” said Bryan.
“Will you two get a grip!” Nav continued, “There’s no evidence to link us to the robbery.”

(Nav) BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Nav stirred. He could feel a wetness around his loins. Blinking awake, he watched a young woman washed his body with a hand-towel. She wore a crisp white uniform. He had woken in an unfamiliar room, all bright antiseptic walls and neon lights.
He groaned. His head was still fuzzy from whatever drugs they’d used.
“Morning, Mr. Logan!” she greeted cheerfully.
“The Doctor will be along shortly.”
Flashback images appeared in his head. He’d been late for his meeting when suddenly … he’d tripped over the cat and fallen down the stairs.
“Strange dreams!” he mumbled sleepily.

The End

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.4)

Damn it, I almost forgot about this... need to find something else to put in it's place :p It's my day off today, so lots of Frasier and admiring the rain from the warmth of the indoors. I have written any poetry of any sorts so this is off the top of my head...

As I gaze from out the window
I'm at amazed by what I see
Millions of little droplets, pounding against the floor
Cursed at by a many, appreciated by me

The rain sounds soothing as I listen
Splashing against the floor
Even as it glistens
Battering every door

I rest my head upon my pillow
And watch in blissful glee
Forever comforted by its presence
Constantly thinking lucky me

That was painful, even just writing that. I hope you find some amusement from it, I'm going to spend the rest of the day finding something else to fill the Wednesday gap :)


Tuesday 15 July 2014

Stories And Other Scribblings. (No.1)

So here we are. If you're wondering what happened to Nova Tuesdays... well, they're gone. Now that I'm concentrating on the second Maybe, Misery my fantasy attempt MAY have to wait. To be honest, there is more of it I could share, so you never know, it may make an appearance :)

This week, we have drabbles from myself, Nav Logan and Bryan Thomas. So I hope you all enjoy them and feel free to submit your own.

The Last Cut is the Deepest By C.S.Bailey

Blood splatters across my face
I let out a silent howl
To share my disdain for the entire human race
A chop, chop, chop here
And a chop, chop, chop there
I grow weary of their demands
So I cut deeper by the day as the sadness rises
Never wanting to hurt a soul but my choices are not my own
I inherited this curse from my father, causing pain to a few for the needs of masses
Washing my hands rigorously once more
I’ve had enough of this life and time
I am the butcher’s son no more!

Conquest By Nav Logan  http://navlogan.com/
Panting heavily, I put my whole body behind the blow and it strikes true. The pick sinks deeply and spray splatters across my face. I pull the razor-sharp Ice axe from her crown and climb to my feet, catching my breath as I look down at her.
Looking around, I check for witnesses to my conquest. I am all alone. I bask in the glory of my achievement.
She has haunted me for years, taunting me with her dominance, but finally I have defeated her. She lies now at my feet, and I feel like the king of the world.

Her First Time By Bryan Thomas  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bryan-Thomas/e/B007WE83LA/

"Is this your first time, Mrs Smith?"
"Yes, it's my first time."
"Don't worry, everything will be fine."
"It's alright for you, you're a man."
"Relax, deep breaths... and push."
"Urrrrggghh."
"And again."
"Urrrrggghh."
"Good, more deep breaths now."
"This isn't easy."
"Focus, you can do it."
"I feel faint."
"Just relax, nearly there."
"And puuussshh."
"Urrrrggghh."
"Okay, not long now."
"I don't think I can go on, it's too much."
"Keep breathing, come on now, deeeep breaths."
"Urrrrggghh."
The car's engine burst into life.
"Thanks for the push, Mrs Smith, I'll just about get to work on time."

A Pain in the Ass By C.S.Bailey

We met of luck and we met out of chance.
I’m still forever grateful she never asked me to dance.
Her blonde hair flows as it glistens in the sun, her Irish temper boils right there with it.
She read my first book, said it was good.
Thank goodness for that! I was worried it was a dud.
I have nagged at her constantly, this makeshift proofreader of mine.
Yet she smiled right back, knife hidden behind.
It feels like we’ve know each other a while as we watch the time pass.
Forever my friend,
A pain in the ass.

Monday 14 July 2014

Never Say Never.

So it dawns on my that I may be addicted to blogging and I'm not sure why. Perhaps I like the idea of indirectly keeping people informed or perhaps I like finding out what's going on in my life, because I never pay attention as it happens. As well as the fact that you beautiful people read my little blog so you must like finding out as well? Who knows, it's a mystery for the ages.

Maybe, Misery is now available for pre-order on both iTunes and Kobo, with the rest of the sites taking their bloody time! I'm wasting away waiting for it's release, figuratively speaking of course. How can time travel so slowly! It's just cruel. I'm currently reading the Great Gatsby. I haven't seen the film and I'm enjoying the book immensely. Though with Midnight in Paris being a favourite film of mine, I can't help but read the book in a Tom Hiddleston voice.

A lovely friend of mine gave me a big massive cake today and I smiled for the rest of my shift, I do love cake despite it being very very naughty. And with being busy with book stuff, the gym has taken a back seat! As soon as it's out, I'm going to be back in there burning the delicious cake off.

Today, something strange happened. I actually read some of Maybe, Misery. I mean actually read it, without having to look for anything at all other than the story and you know what... I fucking enjoyed it! I'm not being egotistic or trying to boast about my book but I really did enjoy reading it. Which is strange right?

Also last night I was taking to some people about my author account. APPARENTLY it's against the rules to have two personal accounts. So what am I going to do you ask? Fuck all. My personal account is where I can swear and say the amusing things I want to say. My author account is more professional, yet I still get interact with people better than on a page, so screw you terms and conditions. Rules are made for the obedient ones and I've never been good at that. It's just plain silly, that people try and create all these rules to dictate how we operate. Why doesn't the government just find away to install Windows on to human beings, that way they can have full control... well except for when it crashes.

If I wanted to submit to rules, I'd become religious.

I should mention that a valid point was raised. What if my readers don't want to add me because I'll have access to their personal details? It was a good question and not one I'd considered. So my solution is: If people start to take notice and interact with my page rather than my account, I will continue to use the page. Simple. It's worth pointing out, if someone adds me on Facebook, I don't fucking go routing through their fucking details. I haven't the time and it serves no purpose. It's bloody weird.

Also tomorrow (or Wednesday morning, depending on what time I get back from my Nan's) we will have short stories from myself and two talented authors Nav Logan and Bryan Thomas. Me, Nav and hopefully Bryan are also working on a short story together. basically one of us submits 100 words and then the other continues the story and so on; it should be bloody good :)

Until tomorrow you lovely people around the world.  


Sunday 13 July 2014

An ode for the people who piss us off, sort of.

Don't you just fucking hate people that feel the need to insert themselves into your life with the sole purpose of making you want to reach for the hammer, or some other blunt object. They're everywhere, like a virus... It's like they were born and raised on the planet annoyance and sent to Earth.

That was the best exercise ever. I wrote down all my frustrations and then deleted it, I shouldn't be ranting on my Blog and so I won't. Well except for the first paragraph.

A lovely woman at work said last night that I should be proud of publishing a book at such a young age and it got me thinking. Is 27 a young age to be publishing a book? Especially in today's world were there are more resources for self publishing authors? I don't know. I know it's been a pain in the ass and a heavy learning curve, though I am proud. Too proud perhaps as I've been showing every possible person my book like an excited child with that toy that Nana bought him.

I think these last weeks have been a blur... All I've literally done, asides from work is work on my book. Knowing I'm on the final stretch, after three years. I feel like I've had nothing else to say, asides from the bloody thing. I do believe it's justified though to be honest. I mean what do we have to talk about with people? Jobs? I don't care enough about mine to EVER talk about it. Private lives? I don't care to air my laundry, dirty or otherwise in public. Hobbies? This book has taken over all mine. It really has been all consuming.

I guess I do have to apologise for constantly going on about it but if something had taken over your world, what else would you have to talk about? On the plus side, my personal Facebook page, was a stroke of genius if I say so myself :p I get more response and more people reading my little Blog, so thank you to all the new readers.

Even now, I tell myself I'm going to take a break from writing but I haven't! I mean, writing a book was on my bucket list as you all know. So why am I still writing? Because I fucking love it that's why! I feel the need to do it. It gives me purpose, makes me believe I'm doing something with my life. I crave anything that isn't ordinary.

So whilst your all here, I want to mention IT. Yes, that sequel. As you already know, the book that Eilis picked for me to write next is the sequel to Maybe, Misery. *The new readers collectively roll their eyes*

As did I when it was picked. I thought I had escaped from that world for a while. So I should explain a bit about it. It is not really a sequel. It simply expands on the world already created and hopefully improves upon it. It follows four main characters and continues to travel back and forth through its timeline. Which is a pain in the ass. I am enjoying writing it though and I know I won't release it unless I believe it's better than the first. Fuck that. I'm not falling for that sequel curse.

Well I've just realised how long this Blog is, well done if you read it all. Enjoy the remainder of the weekend and I'll see you on Tuesday... Unless something worth writing about happens tomorrow.


Saturday 12 July 2014

Smash them words!

So as of this moment Maybe, Misery is available to pre-order on iTunes for 49p or $0.99 respectively. With more sites on the way. I think it's a fair price... though I do rate my book higher than that, I already told you guys I'm not releasing it for the money. I guess I'm getting quite nervous now as well as excited. I'm also slightly concerned about all the formatting mumbo jumbo! What a pain in the ass it is! So I can only hope that all the versions turn out okay!

Luckily, I'll know the print version will be perfect which will go along way in comforting me if all things digital go to hell (though the versions I've seen so far seem fine). 
Speaking of hell, trying to go through the meat grinder on Smash words was awful and I just didn't make it through. Telling me my book wasn't formatted corrected even though it's been edited and formatted by a professional! They're lying! 
Then telling me that my book cover wasn't correct! Even though it was created on createspace, which is designed for digital output! They're lying again! 
So I hate them for now. I gave up yesterday being over tired and hot from this gorgeous weather. 

I'll return to it on a day when my patience is at a high. Anyway... I'm sure I had more to say, but I can't remember what it was. Oh shit yeah... Don't forget to submit your writings/scribblings/poems for Tuesday and Wednesday :) I've asked a good friend of mine Nav Logan, author of the storm-bringer saga, if I can post an excellent drabble of his on here.

Anyway I'm sure I'll return soon with more ramblings... I hope you all have an awesome weekend :)

Thursday 10 July 2014

One Small Step For Chris.

Facebook you kinky devil, trying endlessly to get money out of me in return for your services. It's like prostitution without the endorphins afterwards. I am of course talking about my writers page and how they have killed my reached to almost zero! Insisting I should 'boost' my posts... Yeah because I'm a fucking business and I want to spam people don't I!

That's sarcasm by the way, I have no intention of spamming anyone! So anyway, I have simply set up another personal account under the name of c.s. bailey. That way people can add me as a friend and it's a lot more personal. I still have my actual personal page so I can express the opinions I wouldn't publicise outside of my friends. It makes sense to me at least.

Anyway, it would seem everything can go back to normal now so here's the schedule for the coming weeks:

Tuesday: I will share some writing with you, whether it be a drabble or something else with Nova being on hold for the minute, but remember I go to see my Nan after work, so it's technically Wednesday morning... well except for my American readers.

Wednesday: I will attempt poetry some more, because I like to entertain myself at how awful it is and hopefully you guys like it too. (Remember to send yours in!)

Thursday: Three's a crowd will return, at least for a while. I have like four left... I think.

Friday: I will share with you a chart of  the recent songs I've been listening to! Because we all love to discover new music, especially myself! So if you have a playlist, get it emailed in! MrTalon87@aol.co.uk and I'll get it posted :)

Here is my Top 15 Chart


  1. Beaten in Lips - Beartooth
  2. Radiate - Enter Shikari
  3. All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
  4. Sex & Lies - Nothing More
  5. Androids - Eminem and LP
  6. Twinge - Chevelle
  7. Have You Ever - Incubus
  8. Sail - Awolnation
  9. Casio - Mindless Self-Indulgence 
  10. Blood - In This Moment
  11. Pioneers - Bloc Party
  12. The Courtesy Call - Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory 
  13. No Wisdom Brings Solace - Sybreed
  14. The Matthew Effect - Nothing More
  15. Ouija Board - Chevelle 

Wednesday 9 July 2014

Christmas Day!

I sprinted downstairs, blood pumping, arms shaking only stopping to finish putting my pants on. As my hands brushed against the wall, I feel every speckle of paint on the beige walls. As I reached the door and unlocked it, I grinned relentlessly at the man standing before me. He asked for my name and I gave it proudly, for this day he had a special present for me.



Yes, that is a black bag in the corner. I was in the middle of cleaning :p

The 20/20 Quiz! The Final Round!

So it's finally here! The last round of my little quiz, where the final four will duke out through 11 questions to determine the winner. Thank you to everyone who has taken part, so without further delay...

The Final Round!

Contestants: Emma, Jessica, Eilis and Andrew

1. What are the names of all six sub-titles of the Star Wars films? (One point for each and a extra point will be given if you can list them in the order they were released)

Emma: A new hope, the empire strikes back, return of the Jedi, the phantom menace, attack of the clones and revenge of the Sith (7)
Jessica: A new hope, the empire strikes back, return of the Jedi, the phantom menace, attack of the clones and revenge of the Sith (7)
Eilis: The phantom menace, attack of the clones, revenge of the Sith, a new hope, the empire strikes back and return of the Jedi (6)
Andrew: A new hope, the empire strikes back, return of the Jedi, the phantom menace, attack of the clones and revenge of the Sith (7)

The correct answer is: A new hope, the empire strikes back, return of the Jedi, the phantom menace, attack of the clones and revenge of the Sith

2. What was the year of the first motor race held, that was classed as formula one?
Emma: 1954 (7)
Jessica: 1946 (7)
Eilis: 1946 (6)
Andrew: 1935 (7)
The correct answer is: 1950

3. Which famous group performed first on Top of the Pops in 1964?
Emma: The Rolling Stones (8)
Jessica: The Rolling Stones (8)
Eilis: The Hollies (6)
Andrew: The Rolling Stones (8)
The correct answer is: The Rolling Stones

4. What is Sciophobia a fear of?
Emma: Shadows (9)
Jessica: Shadows (9)
Eilis: Shadows (7)
Andrew: Shadows (9)
The correct answer is: Shadows

5. What are the first four elements on the periodic table? (One point for each)
Emma: Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium and Beryllium (13)
Jessica: Hydrogen, Lithium, Beryllium and Sodium (12)
Eilis: Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium and Beryllium (11)
Andrew: Hydrogen, Helium and Lithium (12)
The correct answer is: Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium and Beryllium

6. Which sport uses a stimpmeter to measure the speed of a surface?
Emma: Golf (14)
Jessica: Golf (13)
Eilis: Golf (12)
Andrew: Golf (13)
The correct answer is: Golf

7. Apart from London, which other British towns or cities have hosted the Eurovision song contest? (One point for each) 
Emma: Pass (14)
Jessica: Edinburgh, Brighton, Harrogate and Birmingham (17)
Eilis: Edinburgh, Brighton, Manchester and Birmingham (15)
Andrew: Edinburgh, Brighton, Liverpool and Birmingham (16)
The correct answer is: Edinburgh, Brighton, Harrogate and Birmingham

8. Which four historic figures have appeared on the back of an English £20 note? (One point for each)
Emma: Pass (14)
Jessica: William Shakespeare, Michael Faraday, Edward Elgar and Adam Smith (21)
Eilis: William Shakespeare, Michael Faraday, Edward Elgar and Adam Smith (19)
Andrew: William Shakespeare, Michael Faraday and Edward Elgar (19)
The correct answer is: William Shakespeare, Michael Faraday, Edward Elgar and Adam Smith

9. Which organ in the body is affected by Hepatitis?
Emma: The liver (15)
Jessica: The liver (22)
Eilis: The liver (20)
Andrew: The liver (20)
The correct answer is: The liver

10. Can you name all seven actors who have played Batman before Ben Affleck? (One point will be given for each and an extra point for naming all seven)
Emma: Lewis G Wilson, Robert Lowrey, Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and Christian Bale

Jessica: Lewis G Wilson, Robert Lowrey, Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and Christian Bale

Eilis: Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and Christian Bale

Andrew: Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and Christian Bale

The correct answer is: Lewis G Wilson, Robert Lowrey, Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and Christian Bale.

11. (Bonus Question, worth three points!) Can you name the two most prominent female actresses in the greatest television show of all time, Frasier?

Emma: Jane Leeves and Peri Gilpin
Jessica: Jane Leeves and Peri Gilpin
Eilis: Jane Leeves and Peri Gilpin
Andrew: Jane Leeves
The correct answer is: Jane Leeves and Peri Gilpin

The winner of the June-July 20/20 Quiz!
Jessica: 33

The runners up
Eilis: 28
Emma: 26
Andrew: 26

Monday 7 July 2014

Mind Dependency.

Yeah, you guessed it... I'm still waiting! It's like a special kind or torture... hopefully it'll come tomorrow and things can progress. Though its not all been doom, gloom and coming up with excuses to ramble on my blog. After spending the morning at work, and correcting the posting errors about Duallists (it takes place on the moon, not bloody Mars) I came home sleepy, since I'd been up since half two yesterday afternoon. You've got to fucking love switching from days to nights every week, back and forth. Anyway, I arrived at home, disappointed that my proof copy of Maybe, misery hadn't arrived. I decided to get some food and enjoy a few episodes of Frasier (I do love Frasier) before getting some sleep.

After my nap, I awoke and fancied writing, I felt the need to. So faced with my recent troubles of deciding, I sent Eilis a snap chat asking her to pick a number between 2 and 7, these being the numbered files for book 'projects'. She picked 3, which just so happens to bloody by, you guessed it... The second book to Maybe, Misery!

I know what you're thinking... I fucking hate sequels too! And bloody remakes. However, having already written around 100 pages, I can tell you that it isn't really a sequel. It just expands the world a little more... So I'm feeling optimistic. You'll see, chances are I'll end up sharing some of it with you guys.

Speaking of Eilis, she's requested that I write a drabble about her (big ego or what :p) I have written it yet, but I know it will be titled 'A pain in the ass' he he he. Also, I've just received the last set of answers for my 20/20 quiz! So that will be up by Wednesday, then things can go back to normal.

Anyway, that's all for now I think. Until next time.

Sunday 6 July 2014

What happens when nothing happens.

Hello all, so not much is happening... I'm literally just waiting for my proof copy to arrive from the states and it's driving my crazy. I feel like a small child on Christmas bloody eve. I'm still waiting for one set of answers for my quiz, though I have devised a plan to make it more efficient if I ever do one again.

What else... A English woman on holiday in Magaluf, blew 20-odd guys in under four minutes. I unfortunately witnessed the video which kindly delayed me getting married for 3-5 years. I one day expect that humanity will propel itself and prove that it deserves this gift of a planet.

My song of the week: Radiate by Enter Shikari

I also watched Bad Neighbours and I've got to admit, I was disappointed with all the best bits once again being in the trailer. I felt that the portrayal of trying to be 'cool' parents was cringe worthy, but that's just me and mine. You all may enjoy it :)

I've also finally finished Duallists! I don't really get much chance to read... I know, it's funny considering I write. My kindle time is confined to bus journeys to work, when I'm not distracted by the resplendently stunning young woman who strangely looks like the woman off the front cover of my book. Or at my Nans when she's on that bloody game she's addicted to.
Anyway, my review is on Amazon and below is a link to the book. It's bloody free so you may as well download it and get it read. It really was enjoyable and a deeply disturbing look at life on the Moon. I hope you're all enjoying the weekend.

Saturday 5 July 2014

Issues in the Middle.

So here we are again... Another gorgeous Saturday and it'll soon be time for me to work all through the night. I ordered the proof copy of my book yesterday, which I'm excited for and just as anxious to get my hands on it. Now that Maybe, Misery is finished I'm having trouble deciding what to write next... Now I know what you may say: "Maybe, misery was one your bucket list. Why are you continuing to write more?"

You'd be right to ask, I guess I don't really know. I enjoy writing and I've enjoyed the world its introduced me too. I guess it gives me a sort of purpose I guess, fuck knows but regardless; I am going to continue. Or you know, maybe I won't... Maybe I'll just give up. I got lucky with Maybe, misery... actually having a complete story! I guess only time will tell. Speaking of time, I've rambled on long enough. Here's another 100 word drabble. Don't forget, if you fancy writing one, just email it to me: MrTalon87@aol.co.uk
Enjoy...

Hot Sweats

I awake from my slumber in a hot sweat, dripping from almost every pore in on my body.
Panicky and irritable I make my way to the bathroom for a pee and other morning constitutionals.

How has it come around so quickly?! Where has the time bloody gone! It’s gone nowhere!
Three fucking years!

Will they like it? What if they don’t?
Do I like it? Should I make even more last minute changes!

I’ve loved it, I’ve hated it but now it’ll soon be over!
My mind races and my heart paces…

It’ll soon be my book release day.

Thursday 3 July 2014

Maybe, not so much Misery.

Hello all, first off, I'm sorry for missing all the recent series I've been doing! This 20/20 quiz really has taken over! Luckily there's only one round and one post left then it'll be over... Unless you've enjoyed it... Then I'm not sorry :) As I promised when I first started this blog, I made you all aware that I wouldn't just use it to promote my upcoming book, and I think I've stuck to that.

However as of five minutes ago Maybe, Misery is just sat waiting ready to come out on July 25th! It's not far away yet too far away! It'll only be on Amazon at first until I have time to get it on other places like smashwords and google i-books, places like that. It will be 286 pages and I really am proud of it and then 3 year journey it's taken me on! It's been long and fucking tiring!

As I've always said, I'm not releasing this book to make money... I've spent too much on it already! Almost £600! I've always wanted to write a book, ever since I was a small child and I've always tried! Yet Maybe, Misery is the first story I've ever completed. Being a writer is still a dream for me and a distant one at that. It wasn't so long ago that I wasn't even going to release it but for a friend to convince me otherwise. My only hope is that people enjoy it and I'm genuinely being fucking honest! I remember my first post... I told you guys I'd always be honest and not once would I tell you what I'm having for dinner; I think I've upheld that promise.
And yes I may have mentioned breakfast, but that's the most important meal of the day :p

Anyway I've told you when my books out and that's that. After it's release, I promise there will be no spamming of this blog! I may mention an offer or promotion in a blog but only quietly! If I mention Maybe, Misery it'll be merely peoples reactions (don't worry, I wont post reviews) or future writing in general.

Thank you guys for listening, Much love

C.S

The 20/20 Quiz! Round Two: Contestants: 6-10

The last set of second round questions! At the bottom you'll find the top four scorers, who will return for the final ten questions! Thank you to everyone that's taken part and not made it through.

Contestants: Jessica, Joanne, Laura, Emma and Andrew

1. Thor actor Chris Hemsworth first appeared in which film?
J: Star Trek (1)
Joanne: Star Trek (1)
L: Pass (0)
E: Star trek (1)
A: Star Trek (1)
The correct answer is Star Trek.

2. From the writings of Terry Pratchett, roughly how many miles in diameter, is the Disc-world? 
J: 10,000 (2)
Joanne: Pass (1)
L: Pass (0)
E: 10,000 (2)
A: 10,000 (2)
The correct answer is Ten thousand.

3. What is the name of Disc-worlds main continent? 
J: There isn’t one (2)
Joanne: Pass (1)
L: Pass (0)
E: Pass: (2)
A: Unnamed (3)
The correct answer is it’s unnamed.

4. What is a baby seal called?
J: Pup (3)
Joanne: Pup (2)
L: Pup (1)
E: Pup (3)
A: Pup (4)
The correct answer is a pup.

5. What was the name of the artistic process used in the film A Scanner Darkly? 
J: Roto-scoping (4)
Joanne: Pass (2)
L: Pass (1)
E: Interpolated Roto-scope (4)
A: Pass (4)
The correct answer is Roto-scoping.

6. Which group has a record 43 top 40 UK hits without a no.1?
J: James Brown (4)
Joanne: Depeche Mode (3)
L: Pass (1)
E: Depeche Mode (5)
A: Depeche Mode (5)
The correct answer is Depeche Mode.

7. Linseed oil, often used for painting comes from which seed? 
J: Flax (5)
Joanne: Flax (4)
L: Flax (2)
E: Flax (6)
A: Pass (5)
The correct answer is Flax.

8. Pablo Picasso was baptised with how many words in his name? 
J: 23 (6)
Joanne: 23 (5)
L: Pass (2)
E: 18 (6)
A: 23 (6)
The correct answer is 23.

9. What pollen-receiving part of a flower also refers to negative perceptions and also Christian imagery?
J: Stigma (7)
Joanne: Pass (5)
L: Stamen (2)
E: Stigma (7)
A: Stigma (7)
The correct answer is Stigma.

10. The Loganberry is a combination of which two fruits?
J: Blackberry and Raspberry (8)
Joanne: Blackberry and Raspberry (6)
L: Blackberry and Raspberry (3)
E: Blackberry and Raspberry (8)
A: Blackberry and Raspberry (8)
The correct answers are Blackberry and Raspberry.

11. The Millennium Star, The Centenary, The Red Cross and The Incomparable are all examples of what?
J: Diamonds (9)
Joanne: Charities (6)
L: Medals (3)
E: Diamonds (9)
A: Diamonds (9)
The correct answer is Diamonds.

12. In which ‘body of water’ are the Islets of Langerhans found?
J: The blood (9)
Joanne: Sea (6)
L: Pass (3)
E: Pancreas (10)
A: Human body (10)
The correct answer is the human body (Pancreas).

13. Who created the first website design? 
J: Tim Berners-Lee (10)
Joanne: Berners-Lee (6)
L: Pass (3)
E: Tim Berners-Lee (11)
A: Tim Berners-Lee (11)
The correct answer is Tim Berners-Lee.

14. Who released the software, Flash? 
J: Adobe (10)
Joanne: Adobe (6)
L: Pass (3)
E: Macro Media (12)
A: Adobe (11)
The correct answer is Macromedia.

15. ‘Somebody someone’, ‘falling away from me’ and ‘clown’ are songs from which famous group?
J: KoRn (11)
Joanne: KoRn (7)
L: Pass (4)
E: KoRn (13)
A: KoRn (12)
The correct answer is KoRn.

16. What was the name of the super hero mascot of the banking organization Halifax? 
J: Pass (11)
Joanne: Pass (7)
L: Pass (4)
E: Pass (13)
A: Howard (12)
The correct answer is Ali-Cat.

17. Which planet has moons named after Shakespearean characters?
J: Saturn (11)
Joanne: Uranus (8)
L: Pass (4)
E: Uranus (14)
A: Uranus (13)
The correct answer is Uranus.

18. Name the four stations of Monopoly? (One point for each)
Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone (15)
Joanne: Fenchurch St, Kings Cross and Marylebone (11)
L: Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone (8)
E: Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone (18)
A: Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone (17)
The correct answers are Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone.

19. Which bird is the international symbol of happiness?
J: Bluebird (16)
Joanne: Bluebird (12)
L: Bluebird (9)
E: Bluebird (19)
A: Bluebird (18)
The correct answer is the Bluebird.

20. To within ten, how man known moons are there revolving the other planets?
J: 170 (17)
Joanne: Pass (12)
L: Pass (9)
E: 24 (19)
A: 176 (19)
The correct answer is 166.

Final Scores
1. Emma: 19
2. Andrew: 19
3. Jessica: 17
4. Eilis: 15
Amanda: 13
Joanne: 12
Wendy: 12
Susannah: 9
A.K Michaels: 9
Laura: 9

Wednesday 2 July 2014

The 20/20 Quiz! Round Two: Contestants 1-5

The second round of the 20/20 quiz see's the final ten contestants take on 20 more questions in a bid to see who is the smartest and worthy of the one of a kind 20/20 cup (I'd have a picture, but Amazon haven't delivered it yet). Only the top FOUR will make it through, so be sure to tune in tomorrow as well for the second lot of results. As usual, good luck and thank you to all involved. Oh, and to make things harder; there will be no half points given in this round.

Contestants: Amanda, Susannah, A.K Michaels, Eilis and Wendy

1. Thor actor Chris Hemsworth first appeared in which film?
A: Cabin in the woods (0)
S: Cash (0)
AK: Pass (0)
E: Star Trek (1)
W: Star Trek (1)
The correct answer is Star Trek.

2. From the writings of Terry Pratchett, roughly how many miles in diameter, is the Disc-world? 
A: 10,000 (1)
S: 10,000 (1)
AK: Pass (0)
E: 10,000 (2)
W: Pass (1)
The correct answer is Ten thousand.

3. What is the name of Disc-worlds main continent? 
A: The unnamed continent (2)
S: Counterweight (1)
AK: Pass (0)
E: Counterweight (2)
W: Pass (1)
The correct answer is it’s unnamed.

4. What is a baby seal called? 
A: Cub (2)
S: Pup (2)
AK: Pup (1)
E: Pup (3)
W: Pup (2)
The correct answer is a pup.

5. What was the name of the artistic process used in the film A Scanner Darkly? 
A: Photography (2)
S: Photocopy (2)
AK: Shoot! Interpol or something! (1)
E: Animation? (3)
W: Pass (2)
The correct answer is Roto-scoping.

6. Which group has a record 43 top 40 UK hits without a no.1?
A: Depeche Mode (3)
S: Pass (2)
AK: Madness (1)
E: Depeche Mode (4)
W: Depeche Mode (3)
The correct answer is Depeche Mode.

7. Linseed oil, often used for painting comes from which seed?
A: Rape seed (3)
S: Flax (3)
AK: Flax (2)
E: Flax (5)
W: Flax (4)
The correct answer is Flax.

8. Pablo Picasso was baptized with how many words in his name? 
A: 5 (3)
S: 2 (3)
AK: 10 (2)
E: 20? (5)
W: Pass (4)
The correct answer is 23.

9. What pollen-receiving part of a flower also refers to negative perceptions and also Christian imagery?
A: Stigma (4)
S: Pass (3)
AK: Stigma (3)
E: Stigma (6)
W: Stigma (5)
The correct answer is Stigma.

10. The Loganberry is a combination of which two fruits?
A: Blackberry and Raspberry (5)
S: Blackberry and Raspberry (4)
AK: Blackberry and Raspberry (4)
E: Blackberry and Raspberry (7)
W: Blackberry and Raspberry (6)
The correct answers are Blackberry and Raspberry.

11. The Millennium Star, The Centenary, The Red Cross and The Incomparable are all examples of what?
A: Ships (5)
S: Pass (4)
AK: A girl’s best friend! Diamonds! (5)
E: Pass (7)
W: Diamonds (7)
The correct answer is Diamonds.

12. In which ‘body of water’ are the Islets of Langerhans found?
A: Pancreas (6)
S: Pass (4)
AK: Pass (5)
E: Pancreas (8)
W: Pass (7)
The correct answer is the human body (Pancreas).

13. Who created the first website design? 
A: A genius (6)
S: Tim Berners-Lee (5)
AK: Pass (5)
E: Pass (8)
W: Pass (7)
The correct answer is Tim Berners-Lee.

14. Who released the software, Flash? 
A: Adobe (6)
S: Pass (5)
AK: Adobe (5)
E: Gordon (8)
W: Adobe (7)
The correct answer is Macromedia.

15. ‘Somebody someone’, ‘falling away from me’ and ‘clown’ are songs from which famous group?
A: KoRn (7)
S: Pass (5)
AK: Pass (5)
E: KoRn (9)
W: Emily Sande (7)
The correct answer is KoRn.

16. What was the name of the super hero mascot of the banking organization Halifax? 
A: Howard (7)
S: Superman (5)
AK: Pass (5)
E: Pass (9)
W: Superman (7)
The correct answer is Ali-Cat.

17. Which planet has moons named after Shakespearean characters?
A: Uranus (8)
S: Jupiter (5)
AK: Jupiter (6)
E: Uranus (10)
W: Uranus (8)
The correct answer is Uranus.

18. Name the four stations of Monopoly? (One point for each)
A: Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone (12)
S: Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone (9)
AK: Fenchurch St, Liverpool St and Marylebone (9)
E: Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone (14)
W: Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone (12)
The correct answers are Fenchurch St, Kings Cross, Liverpool St and Marylebone.

19. Which bird is the international symbol of happiness?
A: Bluebird (13)
S: Dove (9)
AK: Dove (9)
E: Bluebird (15)
W: Turtle Dove (12)
The correct answer is the Bluebird.

20. To within ten, how man known moons are there revolving the other planets?
A: 24 (13)
S: Pass (9)
AK: Pass (9)
E: 150 (15)
W: 150 (12)
The correct answer is 166.

Final Scores
Eilis: 15
Amanda: 13
Wendy: 12
Susannah: 9
A.K Michaels: 9