Where's Wally Been?

Hello all, it's been a while to say the least. I hope you all are well. Today, I finally felt it was time to update the old blog and explain my sudden disappearance. Firstly, I moved rather suddenly and had to wait a while for the wifi to be sorted. Then my bloody lap top broke. And after the release of Life Inside a Psychopathic Balloon, I finally asked, "What am I doing?"

So due to these new circumstances, I decided to take my time and come to the correct decision for myself. After the release of Life Inside, I had kind of had enough with the self publishing world for the moment. I think, doing everything myself had lost its appeal and I was just tired of seeing erotic books shoved in my face, promoted via topless men. I mean, where's the imagination. I even stayed off social net working sites for a while and it's easier than you think. I didn't miss philosophies, accompanied by yellow suppositories with eyes, posted endlessly until I was convinced it was time to commit mass murder. I didn't miss pictures of peoples food or their constant sharing of people doing idiotic shit. I mean, since when did we become a generation of imbeciles with a child's mentality?

So anyway, a few weeks ago, I finally made my decision. Shortly before I found out I would be moving from my home town in September. I'm not moving far, but anywhere that isn't Preston is a blessing. I decided that I would eventually release the Talon Strand. I don't know when, but I will. As for any other writings, they have been abandoned until I actually want to finish them. The great thing is, the last few days, I have actually worked on TTS. I'm not enjoying editing at all, but the want to finish it is more prominent than before.

Recently, I have been chucking around the idea of a web show with a colleague of mine. I even wrote a script for the pilot and it seems extremely appealing to me, especially with my desire to make a film still looming. They would be loosely based around my painful parodies. Saying that though, with my move soon approaching, I have no idea what will happen.

So, lets take a moment to reflect on what I've missed:

Game of Thrones season five: Underwhelming for the most part. The Watch members are now universally hated by women everywhere.

Kayne West claiming to be a genius: Kanye is to music, what E.L. James is to writing. Simply put, a travesty.

Speaking of which, James' Twitter Q and A: If you're going to release shit books and host a social interview, prepare for backlash. I found it highly amusing as most of the points were valid.

Ebola: Where did it go?

Justin Bieber: Unfortunately still alive.

Minions: Still for small children.

My Nan: Still at bingo.

Batman Vs Superman: It's going to be awesome.

Suicide Squad: Will be saved by Jared Leto's Joker and Harley Quinn.

Deadpool: My favourite comic book character finally gets a proper treatment.

I think that's most of it. So farewell for now people of earth.

Much love,

C.S

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.22)

Happy Wednesday my lovelies. I hope you are all well today. Here is this weeks attempt at poetry, I hope you enjoy it.

Hot Topic

Clearly I’m psychotic.
My views aren’t always myopic.
The mind casts wide, I never abide; my fairytale biopic.

Clearly I’m psychotic.
I try to avoid being the hot topic.
Killing in silence, testing my patience; my rampant rage is chronic.

Clearly I’m psychotic.
Though I’m hardly schizophrenic,
I plan my crimes perfectly, I murder their souls elegantly; yet still they always panic.

Clearly I’m psychotic.
Constantly pleased with my aesthetic,
I take care how I look, hardly appearing like a crook; my death dealing skills are always acrobatic.

Clearly I’m psychotic.
My attitude deemed as chaotic.
I’ll kill you all. You deserve to fall; plunging my blade in your eye socket.

Clearly I’m psychotic.
My arson obsession called anarchic.
I’ll watch you scream, my heavenly dream; sporting my grin for the bombastic.

Clearly I’m psychotic.
Finishing you off with the car was drastic.
You groaned in pain, it served you right for being vein; this chair I’m sat in, electric.

Clearly I’m psychotic.

Story-time with the Four Bananas + Guests. (No.29)

Well, first off, let me apologise for the lack of a blog post on Friday. Secondly, we're back! For this edition, we are joined by the awesome D.S. Scott and J.P. Royan. So enjoy my friends and be sure to check out their respective sites via the link embedded within their name.

The Thought Process of a Definition by C.S. Bailey

I can clearly see the sadness in her stunning hazel eyes. The lack of dignity, as she elegantly parades around naked in front of me. My emotional state is at the polar opposite of where it should be. My energy should be shy rocketing. My blood should be shooting through my veins but it isn’t.

My frustratingly busy thought process will not allow me to concentrate of the positive. It will not let me complete my goal.

For I will only ever see the sadness in her eyes and for this, I will never watch porn in high definition again.

A Drabble Questionnaire by Nav Logan

You’re hanging on a precipice by your fingertips. To make matters worse, you’ve an overwhelming urge to itch your butt. Your phone is going off in your pocket. It must be important as they keep ringing and ringing. 

Just then, a brilliant Idea comes into your head for your next novel. 

Using the last of your strength, you pull yourself up so that you can rest your chin on the ledge for a few seconds and free one of your hands. 

Do you: 

• scratch that annoying itch, 

• answer the damned phone, 

• or scribble down the plot before you forget it?

I Spy... by Bryan Thomas

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with s," said Harry, as he looked out of the window of the train.

"Sheep?" said his sister, Poppy.

"Nope."

"Scenery?" said his mother.

"Nope."

"Squirrel?" said Poppy.

"Nope."

"We give up, don't we, Mum?" said Poppy.

Her mother nodded.

"Shitehawk," said Harry.

"There's no such thing," said his mother.

"Dad says shitehawk all the time," Harry protested.

"Your father says plenty of things but that doesn't mean they're right."

"I saw one hovering at the side of the track," said Harry.

"That was probably a kestrel, now just forget about shitehawks."

CLOWNING AROUND by Rick Haynes

I never remember my dreams but last night that changed.

Lying in a room with a fan overhead told me I was somewhere hot. But the silence confused me; even the spinning fan was noiseless.

The sweat oozing from my open pores stank with fear.

I couldn’t move but I didn’t want to.

For all the time I remained motionless I felt safe.

Looking up at the huge pendulum and the swinging axe I felt the air rush on every pass.

But now awake my nightmare should end.

Yet the axe still swings as the laughing clown pulls the rope.

Friends by D.S. Scott

I lost all my friends. Every last one. It’s all the doctor’s fault too. He prescribed those new medicines and they found out. They say I’m different now, so they all left me. They don’t think I should be on medication like that because I’ve changed. That’s what they said. The doctor says I don’t have a choice though. He says true friends would never leave because of this. I need to find new friends. Real friends. That’s where he’s wrong. Maybe I do need the medicine but he doesn’t understand. The voices were the only friends I’ve ever had.

Death Delivery by J.P. Royan

George saw the figure walking towards the house through the window. Sweaty palmed, he held his revolver as he walked down the stairs. 

Knock knock! 

Barrel shaking, he aimed the gun at the door. His wife appeared from the lounge to answer it. He froze with fear!

Paying for the pizza George's wife closed the door turning to see her husband on the bottom step, weeping uncontrollably with revolver at his feet. "I'll call Doctor Borovsky!" She blurted, rushing for the phone. 

The man walked from the house lifting his wrist to his mouth. "Target acquired. Operation is a go!"

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.21)

Happy twenty first! I was in two minds of which poem to put up this week. There's one I have written which I have been looking forward to sharing for ages, but I will stick to sharing them in the order they are written. I think, I get to put it up next week, finally. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one for now. Have a lovely week.

C.S

Ode to the Earth II

Your lives look to be fed,
Yet we all end up dead.
Consuming life’s dread,
A fear will surely spread.

Spreading your wings and failing to fly,
Expanding your reach for the one great lie;
Struggling to cope and get by,
Until the day that you die!

Dying is only the end to your beginning,
A time honoured tradition in understanding.
But you still feel the need to be demanding,
Perhaps it’s a game you’re imagining?

Imagine a world without you here,
A world so beautiful and clear;
The promise land looming near,
And all you can do is peer.

Peering into a heaven regardless,
But not the one before your consciousness;
A fictional dream, told in distress.
Lies before your eyes and yet you digress.

Digression at its best, a twisted tale from birth,
Tangled in a mess of false worth,
Pounded by these deceitful stories of mirth,
And still you ignore the wonderful planet earth.

Story-time with the Four Bananas + Guests. (No.28)

Well, after a somewhat eventful week, it's that time again. We are once again joined by D.S. Scott and J.P Royan. So grab that beverage and enjoy...

Gravy Ambitions by C.S. Bailey

“Hello and welcome to KFC, I’m Dan, please can I take your order?”
“Hi, I’ll have a large big daddy meal please.”
“Would you like it large?”
“Erm… Yes.”
“What side and drink do you want?”
“I’ll have gravy and a latte please.”
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
“I’LL HAVE GRAVY AND A LATTE, PLEASE.”
“No worries, there you go.”
I arrive home and open up my box…
“Where’s my fucking gravy!”

The more I think about this exchange of words, I’m sure I made the right decision to kill young Dan, although the prison gravy isn’t as good.

A Brush with Death by Nav Logan

It was a miserable winter’s day. We were walking home from school, passing the rows of soot-covered terraced houses, counting Christmas trees. The rain was coming down in bucket-loads, with the constant rumble of thunder and flashes of lightning to hurry us along.
We were nearly home, and I was leading the way, wanting to be in out of the storm.
I turned around to check on my sisters’ progress, waiting for them to catch up.
As I started walking again, the lightning flashed before me, right where I would have been standing had I not waited. A close call!

XXX by Bryan Thomas

Ted Hunter, America's foremost news reporter, entered the giant distribution warehouse of Depth Charge, the biggest pornography producer in the world.

"This place is absolutely vast," said Ted.

"It's the size of sixteen baseball stadiums," said CEO Chuck Kulick.

Following Chuck's enthusiastic prompts, Ted looked at random DVDs on his guided tour of the warehouse.

"Chuck, you've got some pretty weird stuff in here, what would you say is your hottest niche seller at the moment?"

"Crustaceans."

"Crustaceans?"

"Yeah, crustacean BDSM in particular is flying off the shelves at the moment."

"What category would that come under, Chuck?"

"Hardcore Prawn."

AUSTERITY by Rick Haynes

The sun was shining, the sky was a perfect blue and the ‘postie’ fell off his red bike.

It was an old ‘postie’, on an old bike, on an even older road.

Just another everyday occurrence in a small Greek village.

Except of course that it didn’t really happen like that.

The ‘postie’ was really suffering from the previous night’s party that ended in the early hours.

The bike was sort of ‘newish’ and the road recently resurfaced.

Still, in times of austerity, it’s better to say that nothing works.

Today, the sober ‘postie’ really did fall off his bike.

Oops!

Let Her Go by D.S. Scott

“We must let her go!”

“We? You’re the one who took her!”

“But you told me to. You made me do it.”

“Yeah, and it was just me. You had nothing to do with it.”

Sandy could hear the two men arguing next door. She had seen the face of the man who took her but couldn’t get a glimpse of the other’s. She was tied to a heavy dresser and had to pull on her restraints to see around the door frame. She gasped when she saw her kidnapper speaking into a mirror.

“But we have to …”

“No … we don’t.”

Sunny Day by J.P. Royan

It was a gloriously sunny day and the  sunlight dazzled off the bleached white sands. The air moved in waves of heat from the dunes to the blue cloudless sky. Rodriguez's eye were focused on a troop of ants marching the sand, carrying flotsam and jetsam, no doubt to their anthill and their queen. 

Rodriguez had been watching them for hours, watching them march closes and closer. They would spot him soon. Hard to know what was going to kill him first really? The ants, the circling vultures, or the desert heat, berried up to the neck as he was! 

Life inside a Psychopathic Balloon Release Information!

Life inside is out today! It has taken a lot longer than I had planned but finally it's here! Check out the blurb:

Life inside a Psychopathic Balloon,
Its description can now resume.
Attempting to rhyme the synopsis,
By using finely tuned harmonics.
Short stories will be told,
They are hopefully entertaining, brash and bold.
Poems will be sang thanks to the spoken word,
To the asylum shall my thoughts be referred?
Drabbles that keep your attention until their closure,
Like this one, Game Over…

My hand’s drenched in blood. It’ll soon dry and will agitate the fine hairs on my hand causing an itch. Peering over the busted skull, it’s hard to feel guilty. I mean, life is all just a form of deceptive progression; and in our reality, you forced my hand.

I warned you time and time again. I pleaded with you, almost begging you to stop, yet your persistence was the key for the lock of my patience.

You didn't stop until I was forced to react. Maybe in the next life, you will desist from sending me bloody game requests.

And some of the teasers I created:

If it sounds good to you fine people, you can get it here:

Amazon UK Kindle
Amazon US Kindle

If you do get my little book, I hope you enjoy it.

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.20)

Well, who saw that coming? I know I didn't. The twentieth edition of poetry attempts. Anyone would think I enjoy writing poetry ha ha. Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful day.

The Beating

A dimly lit room,
Creaks creepily on this stormy night;
Raindrops pound the windows, enhancing the gloom.
Thunder and lightning crash and clatter; filling her with feelings of fright.

Murmuring gently, she wipes the tears away,
Rubbing the wound, it stings viciously.
Hoping and praying for a better day,
How could he treat her so maliciously?

Using all her strength, she stands up tall.
Her legs battered, every step is filled with pain.
Making her way towards another certain fall;
Wondering about the freedom she can attain.

There he slouches in front of the television.
Drunk and groggy, unassuming of her presence;
A two way street, measured by her decision,
Her destiny changed within an instance.

All she wanted was to end her suffering,
To be free of his fists;
How he could hit her was baffling.
Begging for him to get it over with and slit her wrists.

Yet empowered she felt on this darkest of dusks,
The change she had longed for was in reach.
Leaning on the kitchen worktop, she could prominently smell his revolting musk’s.
Grabbing the knife, she knew all too well of the arteries to breach.

Looking in the mirror, her black eyes peered back.
She crept up behind him and stood still for a second.
Biding her time, before the last attack;
The end of the life she knew soon beckoned.

A stab! A slash! A cut! Blood splattered across her face.
Laughing as he screamed, it was the bastard she was defeating.
Death and joy walked hand in hand around their place.
No longer would she endure another beating.

Story-time with the Four Bananas + Guests. (No.27)

Happy Tuesday everybody! I hope you all have a lovely day. My thanks as always go to my bananas for their continued fine works. Once again, we are joined by the dynamic duo that is D.S. Scott and J.P. Royan. Enjoy everybody.

Therapeutic Pickle by C.S. Bailey

Harry had been married for fourteen years. Currently, he and his wife are in therapy, desperately trying to work through their issues.
Recently they have been trying to spice up their sex life by bringing in food, role playing and a whole host of new positions.

One night during a night of passion, Harry proceeded to eat a pickle as he penetrated her from behind. His wife liked the crunching sound.
“I want you to put it in my bum,” his wife panted.
“Are you sure?” Harry asked.
“Yes!”
“You asked for it.”
 “Not the pickle!” His wife exclaimed angrily.

A Bedtime Story by Nav Logan

Mr and Mrs Rabbit lived on the outskirts of town, near the local dump. It wasn’t ideal. In fact it was a bit of a hole, but it was home.

They often struggled to make ends meet, and Mr Rabbit sometimes brought his kids down to the town’s allotment to ‘borrow’ a few vegetables from their better off neighbours

Winter was on its way, and the nights were getting longer, making their lives even harder.

The family settled down to a dark time of X Factor and I’m not really a Celebrity, so get me the feck out of here.

The Dealer by Bryan Thomas

Kyle approached the shadowy figure in the dimly lit alley. "Have you got the stuff?"

The figure took a block covered in silver foil out of the inside pocket of his leather jacket.

Kyle took the block and opened one corner. "It doesn't smell right, is this cut?"

"I don't do adulterated stuff, man." The figure said, pulling another block out of his jacket pocket. "Try this."

Kyle sniffed the merchandise. "That's better, but you're holding back on me."

The figure produced another block.

"That's it! That's the good stuff. What's it called?" said Kyle.

"Green & Black's 70% Cocoa."

WHY? by Rick Haynes

I am awake.

Yet I am not here.

Sleep is beckoning me like a moth to a golden flame and I can taste the call of freedom as my mind yearns to fly free from my body.

Was it only recently that my feelings caressed my soul and heart, through throbbing ruby veins? Are they not the very same feelings that now urge me, to sleep, to slumber, and to dream?

Thus I yield to my world beyond imagination.

I so easily succumb, for I know that I’ll be travelling at the speed of light when I leave this wheelchair.

Symphony by D.S. Scott

Jack waved his hands back and forth slowly, orchestrating the symphony in his head. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers down on invisible piano keys as his hands flowed through the air. Somewhere deep in his mind, Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” played. He too was deaf, in a way. But only to the screams and only for a few moments more. When he opened his eyes he was back in his basement with his soon to be victim. With the knife in hand, he pointed it, singing softly, “It’s all music to my ears, the melody of your fears.”

Wonga by J.P. Royan

Caller: "Sorry, did I hear you correctly? Did you say 5853% APR to borrow just £250?"

Call centre: "Yes sir, that's correct".

Caller: "That's incredible, not in a good way! How on earth can you justify such a percentage?" 

Call-centre: "You'll find it's a competitive rate in this sector sir."

Caller: "Competitive! It's fucking robbery mate. Charging the poorest members of the population the highest interest rates known to man. I mean........really...........how do you sleep at night?" 

Call-centre: "Please refrain from swearing sir. Would you like to proceed with your application sir?". 

Call-centre: "hello Sir?"

Caller: "Yes... yes please".

The Weekly Round-Down! (No.22)

Happy Friday everybody! I have a special treat for you this week, but we'll get to that shortly. It has been a quiet week for me to be fair, I seem to be lacking any kind of productive attitude. Up until tonight (Thursday), I had only written half a poem in at least three weeks. Luckily, I re-read the poem and it suddenly read like a full one.

Life inside a Psychopathic Balloon has been ready for release for about a week now. Silly me, created a teaser stating it would be released in February, only to be informed by the publisher that it was ready the day after I released the teaser. So, no doubt I will be choosing an official release date today.

I think I have decided, to combat the 20% VAT rise on kindle books, that I am going to make Maybe, Misery free again. I don't like the idea of charging more for my book because of greedy bastards.

This week I managed to watch the first twelve episodes of Gotham, it's really good once you get used to not seeing Batman. And I love the fact that the Riddler is right there before their eyes. I also watched Interstellar. Has everybody scene it? Never have I been so uncertain about my opinion on a film, and I'm an extremely opinionated guy as you all know. On one hand, I want to say it is a brilliant look at man's place on this earth. One the other, I want to say it is long winded and not very entertaining. I have been a fan of Nolan for a long time, long before his over-rated Batman trilogy. You should watch it and form your own opinion, if you have a spare two and a half hours.

Anyway, yes the treat... Nicky White suggested we write companion poems. It's a great collaborative exercise and should be done more often. She started it off fantastically and I followed. So here it is, I hope you enjoy it. Don't forget to check out her site for more.

Uncertain Fate ~

Standing on the edge of the sandy reef
The wind tangles her raven black hair
She stares across the vast sea
The moonlight glistening
Salty drops of sea mist dance across her skin
She shivers and inhales deeply
Pulling her red cloak tighter
Protecting her ivory canvas
She smiles as a single tear escapes
Staining her cheek before it falls to the salty ocean below
Her heart aches for him
Her lips desire to kiss him
Her body burns to feel his protecting touch
She closes her eyes
Her breath catches
Her body relaxes as her delicate arms rise
Taking a chance on an uncertain fate
Her knees weaken
She plunges herself into the turbulent sea
Hoping it carries her across the waters
Washing her ashore
Where he will rescue her
And breathe life into her, once again.

Copyright ©2015 –ND White

Certain Sadness by C.S. Bailey

The cliff edge is windy and cold.
Italicizing his life with suicide, an act he considers bold.
His existence has been full of tribulations,
Full of circumstantial indignations!
Yet here is, standing tall.
Braver than most before his final fall!
Squinting eyes cast out upon the vast seas as he takes his final breaths.
Taking in the beauty, before his timely death!
Yet through the wind, another soul he sees.
A red cloak blowing in the wind, raven black hair and ivory skin.
Is it an illusion?
A dream!
Perhaps a torment for his sin!
Then she jumps!
Straight in to the abyss!
Should he leave her?
Should he save her?
He knows not what to do.
Surely it’s madness?
His heart pounds as he takes the plunge.
Saving them both from an uncertain sadness?

Anyway, I'll leave you with the top 15 for the week. Have a good one everybody.

(Lwp)
1. (4) Anesthetist – Enter Shikari
2. (2) Elastic Heart – Sia
3. (1) Telescope – Star Set
4. (13) The Last Garrison – Enter Shikari
5. (4) Halo – Star Set
6. (5) Drown – Bring me the Horizon
7. (6) It has Begun – Star Set
8. (n/a) Sssnakepit – Enter Shikari
9. (7) Friendly Fire – Nothing More
10. (8) Carnivore – Star Set
11. (15) One Month Off – Bloc Party
12. (9) Down to Earth – Celldweller
13. (10) Sex Metal Barbie – In This Moment
14. (11) Crystalize – Lindsey Stirling
15. (12) I want you back – The Jackson 5

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.19)

Happy Wednesday everybody. I hope you are all having a wonderful day. I'm going to be busy preparing for the release of Life inside a Psychopathic Balloon. Stay safe out there in the wicked world. Enjoy.

Life’s Great Game

As a boy, my life was unassuming.
Living within a gleeful notion,
Until eventually it became all-consuming;
Filled with empty commotion!

I would spend my nights, cuddled with my mother.
Perpetual happiness without a worry,
A love complete and unlike any other;
Straying away from life’s great scurry!

As I grew into a young man,
Mother still played a prominent part.
Desperately trying to avoid the master plan,
Its deviant events organized from the start.

I got married, had kids and always made an effort.
The aptly titled Grandmother remained wonderful.
Playing its game, I became its convert.
And my time on earth had become bountiful.

But just like the big bang,
It all changed in an instant.
My ode to this woman, all but sang;
Sadness confined within loss, she became distant.

Though not by choice, my mother the chancer,
Struck ill by this killer in the winds of time;
Brought down by the vicious cancer,
No longer singing her sweet chime!

And just like that, she was gone forever.
Such strength broken down and tame,
My mother, completing her endeavour;
A participant in life’s great game!

Story-time with the Four Bananas + Guests. (No.26)

Well after a weeks unintentional break, we are back. Which reminds me, I'll soon be jumping in, pleasantries first, to secure the forty drabbles for the fortieth edition. This week, as well as my ever favourable bananas, we are joined by D.S. Scott and J.P. Royan. Beverage ready? Enjoy.

Silver Resolutions C.S. Bailey

A new year they tell us. A chance to do everything you failed to do last year. Another chance to grow and improve, yet it never happens. I am still here, shifting slowly, hoping for a change that will never arrive.
I look down on the others, well except for the ones above. I envy them up there and I smirk at the ones below. This may seem egotistic and you would be right to point it out.
I guess my ego is the only thing I have, that and my silver lining.

Otherwise it sucks to be a cloud.

The Aristocrat- Part Three by Nav Logan

Four years he laboured in the muddy fields, with bombs and bullets whistling around his head. Starved almost unto death and worked from dawn until dusk, he led his platoon up each new hill, dragging the heavy gun carriage behind them. So many good warriors had fallen by his side that he no longer took the time to befriend the newcomers, choosing to remain aloof.

They thought it was because he considered himself  better than the commoners around him, but that was not the truth.

He couldn’t take any more loss.

The dying war horse soldiered on, leading the way.

Dragons' Den (Circa 1495) by Bryan Thomas

"So, Leonardo, this is a drawing of your thingamajig?"
"Helicopter," said Leonardo.
"This... 'helicopter' - it does what exactly?"
"It is powered by the figures in the drawing, they make it fly vertically."
"It would fly straight upwards!"
"Yes."
"That's incredible, but what if the men got tired and could no longer provide the power required?"
"It would crash to the ground."
The dragons' shifted uneasily in their seats.
"And you think this could be useful for?"
"I dunno."
"I'm sorry, Mister da Vinci, but I'm not going to invest, I really don't see this one getting off the ground."

A DRABBLE A DAY KEEPS THE ‘POO’ AWAY? by Rick Haynes

‘There’s poo on the front door,’ my wife yells.
Not again! Why do those bloody pigeons poo so much?
‘And the male is sitting on your car’.
Stepping outside, liquid shit drops from the three fat juveniles sitting in the gutter. With their bums hanging over the edge, I am a perfect target. As it accumulates in my hair and face, I fall into a sea of emerald green gunge.
I look up.
The male coos, then craps all over my treasured Mercedes.
‘Honey, why is he picking on me?’
‘I told you not to shoot his mate.’

Picnic by D.S. Scott

I sit in the sun for today’s picnic and examine my options. I pick a good looking piece and pop it in my mouth and chew. Savoury! I pick another and place it on my tongue. So good! The next I put by my molar and chomp into. Delicious! I'm getting full but I decide to eat one more. Yum! While putting my things together, I see something down by my foot. I should save it for next time but I can’t resist. Tasty! I look down at my sunburned skin and see I’ll have plenty for tomorrow too. Excellent!

Cold and with dragons by J.P. Royan

Everyone knew, save a dragon's life you get four free kills. None knew that more than Brant the farm hand as he scrabbled on his back through the ploughed field. Harold chose death for the boy who poured hot wax down his back while at church when they were both children. Brant whimpered as Harold watched the dragon bare down on him. "Kill him already" Harold ordered. Flames spewed forth, igniting screams of terror. The dragon lifted the burning Brant in savage jaws and...........a sickening crunch as his back cracked in two.

Revenge was best served cold, and with dragons.

The Weekly Round-Down! (No.21) Extended, super-apologetic edition!

Well I'm back! *Insert masses cheering.* My apologies for my trek into AWOL territory. My internet unexpectedly went down and I was left high and dry. Stupid me thought it was my phone playing up again, so I deleted all my apps as well. To be honest, it was kind of nice. All I literally had on my phone was the ability to text and phone people. Oh, and a dodgy version of my author Facebook profile thanks to internet explorer. Anyway, welcome to this extended edition of the weekly round-up. Amidst the events of recent weeks, I will be including a poem from myself and a poem from Nicky D White.

Regarding Life inside a Psychopathic Balloon. Without the internet, I have been unable to release it. It has been proof read by myself though and I will soon be getting it ready for release.

So on the note of poetry, here is one from me...

Death Blow

The wind blows cool to the touch,
Stinging my face; like jabs with a needle,
I stand up tall and realize I can’t do much.
Unable to anything but feel completely feeble

I try my hardest and approach with caution,
The fire burns my eyes; a beautiful disaster.
My thoughts flash by of how this set in motion,
Deep wounds will remain, not covered by plasters.

Flashing blue lights, blind my view.
Sirens echo, ringing in my ears;
The lives of many altered by a few.
Their actions haunting us for years

The paramedics blind me with torches,
Dilated pupils, hands shaking and pulse quickens.
Behind me, the fire still scorches,
As the smoke only thickens

They sit me down, the crash still near.
My heart overwhelmed by momentous dread;
I see them carrying her body, filling me with fear,
My gorgeous wife now lies dead.

The cold wind still whistles as it starts to snow,
A Christmas catastrophe, wrapped up tight.
My hollow gift, a death blow;
I kiss my wife one last time and wish her goodnight.

Before my internet went down - Maybe, Misery was featured on Michael Brookes' blog yesterday. So be sure to check it out here: http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/tuesday-tease-maybe-misery-by-c-s-bailey.html
Be sure to snoop around as his blog is on my reading list, as it is always entertaining.

Big news! The lovely Wendy has finished reading the Talon Strand. I was glad to hear that she found it better than the first - especially as it is only the first draft. One of her notes was that at the end, she felt a bit 'flat.' I guess it's understandable. I mean, the Talon Strand was never planned. As you all know Maybe, Misery was supposed to be a one off. Somehow I managed to write a second book which still bewilders me. I started writing it before Maybe, Misery was even released. Back to the point, I'm not sure what to do now. The one thing I knew about the Talon Strand was how it would end - open. I didn't do it intentionally, it's just how I wanted the story to end, a sort of uncertain closure. Now rather than go back and forth for months on end, I have made a decision. I am going to buy a pad ... hold your excitement ... and on this pad, I will either write a new ending that closes everything up more thoroughly or somehow, drag a plan for the third book out of my imagination. If a third book is the case, it will not be for a long, long time. After the Talon Strand comes out, my focus on writing will be on the back burner as to increase my productivity of making a film.

Anyway... here is a poem from Nicky D.

Control ~

Always fighting for control
That need to be in charge
To be perfect
But who are you perfect for?
Yourself?
The judgemental stares of those around you?
Tiptoeing on shards of glass
Dancing around the edges
Hoping not to misstep
Cutting yourself
Bleeding while leaving a path behind you
Adding another scar to your tainted flesh
Whose reflection do you see when looking in the mirror?
Those hazel eyes staring back at you
Reflective pools of pain
Fooling you into seeing what isn’t there
You cover yourself, ashamed
Where is this beauty that others claim to see?
Why can’t you see it?
It’s there, looking back at you.
Deceiving you
Bending your will to break
Your strength is weakening
Hiding behind the hurt
You only want to be perfect
You only want to be you
But you’re not really in control
Not any more
The painful truth is consuming you
Your secret is killing you
As you purge…
Your body quakes as your soul screams
Chasing that high
To deal with the pain
Because in reality,
It. Controls. You…

Copyright ©2015 –ND White

Well, we're nearly done now. My apologies for not being around. It's safe to say I have downloaded the blogger app in case this happens again, so I can at least let you guys know. Oh, while I was gone, we hit 6k views so thank you everyone for that! 

I also saw John Wick this week, it was fucking awesome. If you haven't seen it, check it out right away. 

Here's your top 15. I'll see you guys on Tuesday. Much love,

C.S

  (Lwp)
1. (n/a) Telescope – Star Set
2. (n/a) Elastic Heart – Sia
3. (1) Halo – Star Set
4. (n/a) Anaesthetist – Enter Shikari
5. (4) Drown – Bring me the Horizon
6. (10) It has Begun – Star Set
7. (6) Friendly Fire – Nothing More
8. (3) Carnivore – Star Set
9. (5) Down to Earth – Celldweller
10. (7) Sex Metal Barbie – In This Moment
11. (13) Crystalize – Lindsey Stirling
12. (8) I want you back – The Jackson 5
13. (n/a) The Last Garrison – Enter Shikari
14. (9) Dirty Pretty – In This Moment
15. (11) One Month Off – Bloc Party

Story-time with the Four Bananas + Guests. (No.25)

Well hello everybody. It's that time again. Like caped crusaders, we are here to execute the boredom. This week, we once again have the pleasure of being joined by D.S. Scott and J.P. Royan. Also you get two from me this week, they're both Christmas related so I'll get them out of the way. One of them won me an Amazon voucher. By the time you've read this, the kettle should have boiled, so make that tasty beverage and enjoy.

1st Day of Christmas by C.S. Bailey

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me …
One dismissive comment, one look of disdain, one flimsy excuse of her whereabouts and a stone cold tea in the microwave!
So on this cold winter’s day, I decided to follower her for answers. She was watched like a hawk as she boarded her bosses’ yacht. I saw the boat was rocking, I found it truly shocking and now she’s chopped into pieces and stuffed into her stocking.
So on the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me; that feeling of finally being free.

The Empty Sack by C.S. Bailey

It’s December twenty forth and little Matt is up past his bed time. He’s way too excited to sleep, cowering with excitement under his quilt waiting for Santa to arrive. 

Suddenly he starts to here shuffling coming from the other bedroom. “Santa is here!” He exclaims loudly. Jumping out of his bed, Matt tip-toe’s towards his mum and dads bedroom. 

Gently knocking on the door, he mutters “Santa?”

His mother comes to the door. “What’s the matter Matt? It’s late, you should be asleep.”

“I thought I heard Santa coming!”

“Oh, that was your father … now go to sleep.”

The Aristocrat- Part Two by Nav Logan

That was before war came, and Ireland, still under British rule, must send its bravest off  to die in France. The aristocrat’s life changed on that day in 1914 when war was declared. No longer did he live with a silver spoon in his mouth. He, like everyone else, must go and serve his country.

As always he was a natural leader, and therefore, he was the one selected for the fore of the procession down O’Connell Street, past all the buntings and banners, and down to the docks where the ferryboats waited for their long journey overseas to Flanders.


The Chicken and The Egg by Bryan Thomas

"I came first!" said the egg.
"Rubbish!" said the chicken.
"Without me you wouldn't exist," said the egg.
"No. Without me 'you' wouldn't exist," said the chicken.
A cockerel strutted into our fictitious scenario, stage right. "Without me 'neither of you' would exist," he said, puffing out his chest.
"Nonsense, I'm not having it," said the chicken.
"The point is you 'did' have it, sweetheart, and that's where junior here came from," said the cockerel, gesturing towards the egg.
The egg and the chicken pondered the cockerel's argument.
"Sorted!" said the cockerel, who knew a done deal when he saw one.

HIGH TIDE by Rick Haynes

Foamy waves crashed into the rocks, spewing forth seaweed and debris. The sailor, sole survivor from the wreck, nursed countless bruises as he pulled his worn out body to safety. Only god knew how he had survived when all of his shipmates had perished in the storm.
Settling himself under the cliffs, he took in the water mark. Once the tide turned he could crawl around the headland and home.
He closed his eyes.
A rumble like the sound of thunder caused him to search the dark skies, but all he saw was the rock face rushing to embrace him.

Gangrene by D.S. Scott

I let out a groan of pain. This gangrene’s killing me … literally. I got lost in the woods a week ago. I broke my foot five days ago and the damn bones are sticking out. Four days ago it got infected. Three days ago I got this fever and two days ago I ran out of food. I can’t walk, can’t take care of myself, can’t do anything. Yesterday ... let’s just say yesterday was worse. This fever’s been messing with my head today. At least I hope so because part of my foot’s gone and I can taste something rancid.

Crazy in love by J.P.Royan

Sat on the bench Clara watched David talking to his friend by the water fountain.

She couldn't remember being so in love and happy before. He's undoubtedly the one! Clara thought how her mother was going to love him too when they finally met for lunch at Franco’s.

Realising the time she waved to get his attention. He glanced over sheepishly but continued talking, his back to her now. Clara smiled rising from the bench. "He's a right chatterbox" she sighed.

Walking over Clara could hear the conversation over the fountain’s splashes. "Yes officer, she's been following me all day!"

The Weekly Round-Down. (No.20)

Happy Friday all... well for you rather than me. I've had a week off from work this week and its been fantastic. Unfortunately, I'm back on Sunday. I've spent most of my time being lazy and beta-reading Nav's newest work. It's safe to say that it is quite good. Though I am slightly annoyed. I had planned to be proof reading Life inside a Psychopathic Balloon but those bastards haven't delivered my proof copy yet, despite paying delivery charges to ensure it had arrived by the fifth. 

It will only be a short one this week as I have a takeover to do soon so I'll be attempting to entertain people for a whole hour. 

The lovely woman who is beta reading the Talon Strand, told me yesterday that a part of it was making her feel emotional, so that's good. She also said that up to now, it's better than the first. I think that deep down, it is very much a drama. Where the first one was loud and brash, the second one is more grounded, well at least I hope. I think my main concern is that I don't want it to be like anything else. 

So it finally happened this week... I watched the fourth Transformers movie. I really fucking hate Michael Bay. I only watched it for Kelsey Grammer (Frasier) and at first, it didn't seem that bad. Plus anything NOT starring Shite Lebouf, can only be seen as a blessing. Surely enough though, Michael soon returned to his staple of shitting on my childhood. So avoid it like the plague if your eyes haven't witnessed the travesty already.

I also watched the Maze Runner. It could have been a lot better, but it had a whiff of teen-twilight-nonsense about it. If it's ever on the television for free, give it a watch. Otherwise, avoid it like I avoid the hunger games or as I call it, the poor man's Battle Royale. 

Anyway, I'll leave you all to enjoy your weekend. Have a good one, here's the top 15:

(Lwp)

1. (n/a) Halo – Star Set

2. (n/a) Death before Dishonour – Five Finger Death Punch

3. (n/a) Carnivore – Star Set

4. (n/a) Drown – Bring me the Horizon

5. (n/a) Down to Earth – Celldweller  

6. (n/a) Friendly Fire – Nothing More

7. (n/a) Sex Metal Barbie – In This Moment 

8. (n/a) I want you back – The Jackson 5

9. (n/a) Dirty Pretty – In This Moment

10. (n/a) It has Begun – Star Set 

11. (1) One Month Off – Bloc Party

12. (n/a) Big Bad Wolf – In This Moment

13. (n/a) Crystalize – Lindsey Stirling 

14. (13) End of an Empire – Celldweller

15. (n/a) Survival – Eminem

  

Actual Poetry Thursdays! (No.6)

This week we are joined by the multi-talented Nav Logan, so enjoy his poem and then proceed straight to his website www.navlogan.com for more.

Slipping Into Something Comfortable

Let me slip into something comfortable,

While we snuggle together and whisper our love.

Something just right, designer tight,

Ergonomically made, it fits so well.


Let me slip into something comfortable,

While we cuddle close and kiss the night away.

Tailor made to fit my body,

The feel of it making me sigh.



Kid gloves are nothing to this,

Silk and satin fall short of the mark,

Mink and Ermine are course in comparison,

To what I am wearing with you.



Let me slip into something comfortable,

And together we can fly to the moon.

Nothing feels finer than this apparel,

Nothing feels finer than you.



Let me slip into something comfortable,

Let me slip into you.

Attempt At Poetry Wednesdays! (No.18)

Well here we are again. In case you all have forgotten, or you just didn't see it, I mentioned a while back that everything you see from me will be new and not taken from Life inside a Psychopathic Balloon.

So I hope you enjoy it, have a great day everybody.

The Perfect II

Earth shattering beauty confined in a notion,
Beguiling in her wisdom;
Casting a spell with her otherworldly potion,
Until I am a slave to her kingdom!

Flowers bloom around her feet,
Illuminating the sun with her stature;
Her fragrance is nothing short of sweet.
A love like this will only ever fracture.

The uncertainty of her existence frustrates,
My mind constantly collapses.
The Fragile moral compass tergiversates.
Yet the positive emotion relapses!

Though all is not as it seems,
A reality we can never summon;
The creation of an artist’s dreams,
The ever imaginary perfect woman!

Story-time with the Four Bananas + Guests. (No.24)

Well hello everyone. We are back to entertain so go and grab that hot beverage you have been lacking and enjoy. As well as my bananas, we are joined by D.S Scott and J.P Royan this week.

Singular Pandemic by C.S. Bailey

I am close to the end. I can feel death stalking me with my every wheezing breathe. Lying in my resting place, all wrapped up, I feel only cold. The medication didn’t help me at all; neither did the constant rain at work.
My life is nearly over, I am ready to go to my final resting place and forever be in peace from this infernal virus.
Soon, my wife comes into the room to say farewell.
“Goodbye my love.” I whisper sweetly.
She replies coldly, “Get out of bed you lazy bell end, you've only got bloody man flu.”

The Aristocrat- Part One by Nav Logan

With a pedigree that went back for many generations, the aristocrat had always been destined for greatness. He had been born to it, like his father before him. Reared on the plains of Kildare, his life had been an easy one, this gentleman of leisure. His days were spent going to the races, or breaking a light sweat during a game of polo.

Inevitably, he would lead the winning side to victory with honours.

Later, he would bow his head gentle in acknowledgement of the applause, commoners and gentry alike, and be led off in fanfare to the waiting party.

The Dilemma by Bryan Thomas

"Dad?"

"What?"

"Jimmy's father has done something bad."

"How bad?"

"Really bad."

"Do you want to tell me what he's done?"

"I do... and I don't. I kinda promised Jimmy."

"So, you are facing a bit of a dilemma, son."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"It's a criminal act, right?"

"Some people would see it that way."

"I think I know what it might be, don't say anything, just nod if I'm right."

"I will."

"Jimmy's dad has murdered someone."

"What! No. He hasn't murdered anyone, he's bought a season ticket for Manchester United."

"That's a heinous crime by anybody's standards, son."

MISSING YOU by Rick Haynes

Here I sit, all alone on our faded cream sofa.

My feet are hanging over one of the dark wooden arms, as my hand grasps the tumbler ever tighter.

The half-empty bottle on the coffee table speaks volumes, as my eyes shed droplets like the whiskey tears running down the outside of the glass.

Was it only last week that she packed her bags and left, clearing out the bank account on her way to meet her new lover?

Someone I knew so very, very well; my mate and my best friend.

I really, really . . . miss him.

Dear John by D.S. Scott

Dear John,

Thank you for sinning! You go to church, you pray and you even read the Bible occasionally, but you still sin! Damned if you aren’t good at it too. You lie, cheat, curse, and hate. The list goes on. Please keep turning your back on God. Hell’s waiting, friend. Don’t stop now! You’re so close!

Oh, and thanks for having such beautiful children. I love watching them follow in your footsteps. Your wife’s on her way too.

Just remember, God doesn’t love you but I always will!

Anyway, thanks again, my friend.

See you soon,

Your tempter,

Satan

Whetstone by J.P. Royan

Shhhhhiiiing! Tyax looked along the steel that had been his campaign sword for many years. Morning sunlight glistened off its edge as the whetstone slid upwards from the base to the tip. Shhhhhiiiing! Tyax's thoughts turned to the horrors his blade had committed for the empire. The villages and towns that had fallen to their march south. Shhhhhiiing! The Kareenesh had finally turned up to give them a fight however. Tyax’s chance to show his swordsmanship. 

He hated everything about the southern scum but nothing more than their custom of execution for military prisoners. Beheading by your own sword. Sssshhhhhiiiiiing! 

Back to the Future.

Well hello all. Welcome to my first blog post of 2015. I really hope that you all enjoyed the festive period and that you spent it doing what you love, or at least with the ones you love. I went to my Nan's for Christmas dinner this year and it was quite nice especially compared to writing the Talon Strand with a bowl of cereal, (that's what I did the year before). I opted to stay in this new years eve. Though I enjoyed going out the previous eve, I just wasn't in the mood. I guess it's because I didn't really want to say good by to 2014. It was a good year for me.

But we mustn't dwell so onwards and upwards. Though I took a step back from my blog and writing in general, I was still quite the busy little bee. Mostly, I was working on Life inside a psychopathic Balloon and I'm delighted to share the cover with you guys...

I hope you like it. I like it a lot and I'm excited for this book to come out. I think, because it's an unexpected and unplanned gift. My good friend Nav Logan beta read it for me and though I had a list of twenty pieces of work to remove, Nav suggested I remove only seven. Six of those were the Painful Parody posts and a poem titled 'Plain Sailing.' I'm currently waiting on the proof copy to arrive so I can check it one last time.

I've also been working on the Talon Strand, with the first beta copy already sent out. To be honest though, I am taking my time with it, it still needs an awful lot of work.

I have indeed written a few poems and drabbles, but not as many as I thought I would. I guess I'm still unclear as to what's going to happen. I do know that if I decide to release another book after the Talon Strand, it will be Between Dimensions. That's all I know and I'm tired of rattling my brain about it. This year has a whiff of uncertainty about it; I am not sure that like it.

Anyway, this is really just an overly long re-acquaintance. I am back and will attempt to entertain once more. I'll be back on Tuesday with Story-time, so I'll see you guys then. For now, here is my list of things we should leave in 2014. Take care all.

-Game requests
-The new era of abbreviations
-Twerking
-Selfies
-Skinny jeans
-Fragile males
-The 100
-People lacking basic etiquette
-Updating Facebook every five minutes
-Saying you need to get in shape and then uploading pictures of your Mc Donald's
-Erotica books
-Ignorance
-Idolising entertainers
-Religion
-Minions (or as I like to call them, suppositories)
-Acting like perceptual teenagers
-Kim Kardashian and numerous other human beings
-Releasing documents claiming that America's stockpile of nuclear weapons has been shoddily maintained and then letting them piss of North Korea
-Spamming