Story-time with the Four Bananas + Guests. (No.11)

Just in case you haven't heard. We officially welcomed Rick Haynes to our banana collective last week. It's good to have him on board and if all four of us take place in a digital dinner party, it'll be easier to split the bill. Anyway, we're joined by the awesome Ken Magee this week. Thank you to my bananas, enjoy... Oh, wait I forgot to mention (about ten times), if you want to learn more about the authors featured just click on there names to proceed to their websites.

Dead Inside by C.S. Bailey

“Well you certainly are beautiful. I’m going to have a lot of fun with you.”

She lies straight, motionless, almost frozen and I feel it’s my duty to make her feel warmth again. I stroke my hands through her blonde hair and a smile crops upon my face.

I climb on top of her proving my dominance. As I gaze into her dilated pupils, I see a state of nothingness staring back at me.

Our lips lock and blood rushes through my veins to all the right places.

It was the best idea I’ve ever had to become a mortician.

Imagination by Nav Logan

If I am writing about zombies, it doesn't mean that I am undead.

If I wax lyrically about the challenges of being gay, it doesn't mean that I have to frequent gay bars

If my lead character is a woman, then I may be in touch with my feminine side or have good female friends, but a sex change is out of the question.

I may write about blood-sucking vampires, succubi or murderers, but that doesn't mean I have to be one. 

I am a writer, therefore I give my imagination free licence to pursue what-ifs. That’s what writers do!

Spiders by Bryan Thomas

"Mummy?"

"Yes?"

"Do spiders feel pain?"

"Umm... I'm not sure really. I don't think they have a central nervous system, so they probably don't."

"What if mummy spider had an accident? Would daddy spider and baby spider be upset?"

"I dunno... spiders are quite simple. They don't do feelings as such."

"So baby spider wouldn't be too bothered if daddy had an accident too?"

"It probably wouldn't spoil his day, if that's what you're thinking. I'm presuming baby is a 'he' of course."

"Thanks, Mum."

"Why all the questions?"

"Because I've just pulverised three spiders with your meat tenderising hammer."

Stage Fright by Rick Haynes

‘Next!’

The young actress stepped forward for her audition.

She was nervous but supremely confident in her abilities to make a lasting impression.

‘Darling! I really love you. In fact I would die for you,’ her voice echoed around the theatre.

‘Sorry! Next!’

As she turned to face the Director’s dismissive words, all colour drained from her cheeks.

Her legs buckled and gave way. She fell.

‘Is she okay?’ the Director asked.

‘No! Call an ambulance! She’s turning purple!’

One eye opened, then another.

Her face lit up in a huge smile.

‘I told you I could act.’

50 Shades of Denial by Ken Magee

“Her best friend saw me out with a blonde.”

“And that’s when the row started?”

“No. ‘Just business,’ I said. Then she saw the love note.”

“OK. The note sparked the row?”

“No. ‘It’s obviously a joke,’ I said, but then she smelt the perfume.”

“OK. The smell brought the hell?”

“No. ‘Got squirted in a department store,’ I said. That’s when she found the panties.”

“Right! That’ll be the row now, then?”

“No. I told her they were a present. ‘For me?’ she asked. ‘Nope,’ I said, ‘sure you’d never fit into those’… and that’s when the row started.”