Story-time with the Four Bananas. (No.16)

*Sigh of relief* *Slight moan and as you sink into your chair with your preferred hot beverage* *Excitement as you know what's coming* Yes, it's that time again, so sit back, relax and enjoy these drabbles from your bananas.

Miss Halloween (November) by C.S. Bailey

A relaxing bonfire will surely take my mind of recent goings on. Work has been peaceful since Sarah was sent off to supermarkets across the country.

It was only on Halloween that I took a turn for the worse. Attending the party of a work colleague, I came across the most wonderful specimen. Donna – Young, youthful and bewitching, pun intended.
Unfortunately Donna turned out to be nothing more than a thief, stealing the urn in which I keep my mother’s ashes.

As Donna’s skin burns away to the bone, this is the first bonfire I have enjoyed in a while.

Bread Delivery by Nav Logan

“.. And the next part is ‘Give us this day our daily bread ...” explains the priest patiently.

“Is that like meals on wheels, Father?” asked little Johnny.

The priest sighs, “No Johnny, it isn’t...”

“Why can’t the Christians go to Tesco’s like everybody else?”

Father Murphy has been at this too long to get drawn into a theology debate with a seven-year-old. First Communion Day is fast approaching, and they still haven’t covered the basics.

"The next bit is ... ‘And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors’."

“Ah,” Johnny replies, “That’ll be about those feckin’ bankers!”

The Killer by Bryan Thomas

"Murderer!" said ten-year-old Ian.

"I... I didn't mean to... It just happened," said nine-year-old Luke.

Ian scrutinised the victim. "Why, Luke? Why?"

"I don't know... I... I just--"

"Just what?"

"I just didn't think."

"And now you've taken a life."

"It... It was an accident, okay?"

"Luke, I was watching you, it was no accident."

Luke lowered his head and looked at the floor.

"Let's go, before someone finds the body," said Ian, prising a rolled-up magazine out of Luke's hand.

A fly lay motionless on the window ledge - all six legs in the air.

TO HAVE IT ALL! by Rick Haynes

Being strong of body and with quick feet gave Carlos Valentino the perfect physique to exploit his talents as a professional footballer. Alas, Carlos loved a good party.

Every evening he wined and dined different ladies. Many were passing acquaintances of the night, whilst others were there to be seen. Carlos had it made, or so he thought.

After entertaining a French mademoiselle he arrogantly announced.

‘In nine months, you will have a son. You may call him Carlos. Viva Espana!’

She replied.

‘In a few days you will have a rash. You may call it measles. Vive la France!’