Story-time with the Four Bananas. (No.14)

Yes, it's here... you're favourite time of the week. Me and my bananas get together, in a bid to entertain you for a short space of time. My thanks go to them as usual, especially Rick who managed to send me some drabbles, even though he's on holiday. Don't forget you can find out more about each author by clicking on their name. I hope you enjoy them and have a nice day...

Religious Failings by C.S.Bailey

“So my brother, what faith do you follow?”
“I’m a Sith Lord father.”
“But that is fiction my child.”
“So tell me father, what is the difference between a screen play and a book?”
“Not much.”
“Exactly father, the only difference between Star Wars and the bible; is that the former was brilliantly written. Well the first three anyway.”
“But the bible says it’s a sin to believe…”
“Father, 50 shades says it’s okay to ignore all the BDSM rules and become an obsessive moron, but would you?”
“Is this a Jedi mind trick?”

“No father, I’m a Sith Lord.”

Childhood Memories by Nav Logan

“Whahahahahahahahhahaa!!!”

My cheeks rattled in synchronicity with my battered gonads as I hurtled down the cobblestones. My bicycle had no suspension. The tyres were solid rubber.

I desperately wrestled the rusty handlebars, trying to stay upright, but the worst was yet to come. I was nearly at the bottom of the hill.

Evasive action was called for. I’d need to slow down, but that meant taking my feet off the pedals. My brakes were as high-tech as my suspension. I’d need to use my feet to slow down as the brakes squealed in protest.

Boys and their toys.

Happy days!

You're a What? by Bryan Thomas

"You're a what?" said the guy sitting opposite me on the train as he peered over the top of his glasses.

"I'm an indie author."

"Right. And that means?"

"It means I do everything myself and self-publish my books in electronic format to Amazon."

"Hmm... no hardcopies of your books then?"

"Nope."

"So you're not a real author?"

"I'm an author and a physical entity, so quite real."

He leaned across and prodded my leg to confirm the latter. "How many books have you written?"

"Seven."

"Any bestsellers?"

"Nope."

"Indie eh?"

"Yep."

"So you're not a real author then?"

"D'oh!"

GOBLIN RULES! by Rick Haynes

King Deadfall was growing old. Trial by combat would provide his successor. All could challenge but only three would try. Cromaclaw decided to reduce the odds. He slashed Ironfang’s throat whilst he slept.

Now it would be just him and Stormwind.

They entered the arena. Both Cromaclaw and Stormwind had sprinkled poison on their blades. Cromaclaw drew first blood. He watched as his opponent buckled and died.

He stood superciliously before the King.

‘Kneel to be crowned Cromaclaw.’

As he did so the King swept up his huge sword and beheaded him.

‘I am old, but I am not stupid.’