Story-time with the Four Bananas + Guests. (No.17)

As the twentieth edition draws closer, I am nearing the chances of securing 20 different authors. There's going to be some heavy weight drabblists and some talented new comers. It's certainly going to make for an entertaining read. My thanks as always go to my beloved bananas and we are joined this week by the awesome D.S. Scot. So get that beverage ready and enjoy...

Chasing Perfection by C.S. Bailey

“Her round hazel eyes remind me of autumn; the beauty of trees losing their leaves and the ever-lasting sun sets. Her smile, the way it crops up at the side when she smiles. The button nose, I just want to plant a gentle kiss upon it. Then there is her hair. The most stunning shade of brown, curly and it flows as if it has the angels carrying it. Her voice is so soft that with every word spoken, I melted a little more inside.
“If she’s so perfect, why don’t you just ask her out?”
“She died last week.”

Your Wee Bit Hill and Glen by Father Logan

“Please don’t leave me … You … You complete me!”

“Listen, it’s not you, it’s me.”

“We were meant to be together. Don’t go!”

“Look, I need my own space. I want to spread my wings and try it on my own…”

“If you leave, there’ll be no coming back. You can’t just leave and then in a few months come knocking on my door and expect me to take you back. You’d better think about that!”

“Well! There’s no need to take that tone. I thought we could still be friends.”

“How naïve of you, my Scottish flower.”

Lightning Lil by Bryan Thomas

The atmosphere was electric at the dog track.

This would be Lightning Lil's 100th race and she had won 87 of her previous races.

The bunny tore past the waiting dogs, as much in fear for its life as any electro-mechanical bunny could be.

Sock Puppet took the lead, followed by Vajazzle, Headshrinker, Custody Battle, Shitehawk, Jiggery-Pokery and last but not least, the appropriately named Brewers Droop.

Gasps of disbelief came from the crowd as they realised Lightning Lil had failed to start.

Lil had to malfunction sometime, after all this was 2085 and all of the greyhounds were robots.

JOB FOR A WITCH by Rick Haynes

Two witches were discussing the latest job application list that had arrived by King Crow.

‘It says here that only those with broomsticks need apply.’

‘But Chellin, we all fly sticks!’

‘Do we Jazeen?’

‘Of course we do! This is a plum job with the Queen Witch of Euranopia. We all want to apply.’

‘But where are your broomsticks Jazeen? You need to have one to fly one.’

Jazeen searched the wooden racks. There were no brooms.

‘Where are they?’

‘I destroyed them, thus destroying your dreams.’

‘Why Chellin?’

‘Read the last paragraph!’

‘Only the most evil witches need apply.’

Grave Robbers by D.S. Scot

“So bones bring good money?” John asked.

“They do. Now dig,” the doctor smiled.

“Why do I have to dig?”

“You are young and fit,” hissed the doctor.

After the grave was empty, John opened the coffin. “Disgusting!”

“Hurry,” the doctor barked.

“I’m going.”

When all the bones were placed in the bag, John asked, “What happens when you run out of graves?”

“There’s never a shortage of bones,” the doctor grinned.

“Where do you get them from?”

The doctor brought his shovel down on John’s head. After kicking him into the grave he said, “Simple. From you … next month.”