Writers Block by C.S. Bailey
Two years in: “I’ve written a book! It’s awesome!”
Editing: “I’ve written a book! It’s shockingly bad and I hate every word!”
Release: “I’ve written a book! And I’ve actually finished it! The world will love it!”
After release: “I’ve written a book! I bet everybody hates it!”
Promotion: “I’ve written a book! Buy it and experience the best story you’ve ever read!”
After promotion: “I’ve written a book! I bet everyone will hate it!”
First review: “I’ve written a book! Somebody likes it!”
After being crushed by a mixture of emotions: “I’ve written a book! Let’s write a sequel!”
The Incredible Shrinking Farm by Nav Logan
Standing on the clifftop, I survey the storm damage. My fence is now dangling over the edge of the cliff. A large tract of land has eroded during the winter, and a new fence will be needed before the cattle can graze.
I remember helping my grandfather to repair the fencing. Of course, the field was much bigger then. It didn’t just appear bigger like many a thing from childhood. It really was bigger. The property maps confirm it.
Soon the whole farm will disappear beneath the waves. There will be nothing left for my own grandchildren to farm.
School Homework by Bryan Thomas
"I ain't done nothing for my homework, Miss Fairhurst," said Michael.
"Really? Well done, that's a first."
"Say what? Miss."
"You've just told me that you did your homework."
"No I didn't, I said I ain't done nothing."
"Michael, If you 'ain't done nothing' then you must have done something."
"Say what? Are you yanking my chain, Miss?"
"No, Michael, I'm not, so let me see your homework, right away."
"Seriously, Miss, have you been smoking some really freaky shit?"
"I ain't been smoking nothing," said Miss Fairhurst, as she winked at Michael.
"Ahh," said Michael, "I get it now."
BABY PROBLEM by Rick Haynes
The curvaceous young woman arrived at the surgery carrying a baby.
‘Baby is not feeding very well,’ she exclaimed.
After an extensive examination the doctor could find nothing wrong.
‘Is he bottle or breast fed?’ He asked.
‘Breast fed.’ she replied.
‘I had better examine you as well, so please strip to the waist.’
Although a little embarrassed she complied with his request.
The doctor felt each of her breasts and then gave each nipple a gentle tug.
‘That’s the problem. You are not producing any milk.’
‘I know. I’m the baby’s aunt but it was nice to meet you.’
Beauty by D.S. Scot
“What do you want?” the woman cried.
“To be beautiful … like you,” Sam smiled.
“Why me?” the woman asked.
“My, my, I just love your hair,” Sam said, ignoring her.
Sam stood over the girl, admiring her beauty.
“Don’t pull at the ropes, dear. It’ll make your wrists raw,” Sam said, smiling.
“Why are you doing this?” she whimpered.
“I already told you … chemo makes all your hair fall out,” Sam said.
“Please mister, don’t do this,” the girl whispered.
“I’m a miss!” Sam yelled, staring at his reflection in the scalpel.
“Now hold still. I just love your hair …”
Park Lust by Wendy Gordon
Park time again, will she be there? Yes, I see her! A vision of loveliness, her perfect long legs entice me, her eyes dazzle me, she seems to shine like a star.
As I pass, I know in her world I don't exist. Her scent overwhelms me, with my heart pounding; my park lust takes over and before I now it, I've mounted her.
This feels so right yet I know this is wrong. I hear a loud scream! "Leave her alone you animal!"
It's on with my lead, my walk is over and I'm in the dog house again.
No comments:
Post a Comment