Bang, Boom ... Whimper.

Well, well, well, it has been a while. I was all but ready to announce the return of this blog, when I found out that my friend, Bryan Thomas had sadly passed away. It's safe to say that the next post from this blog will be a tribute to Bryan.

I'll try my best to keep everything brief as there is a lot to get through. 

For the past ... well however long it's been, I lost all faith in my writing. The primary being Maybe, Misery. Often telling people that it is rubbish, not to get attention, but it is generally what I had grown to believe. After all, I have aged and I have changed. It appeared juvenile to me.

Fast forward to this week and I knew we were getting a new laptop. No more excuses. Excuses for what? The Talon Strand of course. It has been lingering in the back of my mind, like a bit food in your mouth that your tongue can't quite get to. It has always just felt unfinished. 

So I did the unthinkable, I read Maybe, Misery from cover to cover. 

The thing to bare in mind is that Maybe, Misery is nearly six years old! It doesn't feel like I wrote it because I have changed a lot in six years, so here is what I thought ...

It's funny, sometimes in a good way and sometimes bad. There are moderately sized parts of it that are just downright ridiculous. I found the ending to be a little weak and I found the story telling to be basic in places. It's worth mentioning that I read it in two sittings, bringing me to its shining light, that I didn't even know about: The pacing.

It paces at such a blistering speed, it kept me reading and I loathed this book. By the time I thought something was getting a bit silly, I was moving on to the next chapter. When I found it was getting dull ... next chapter! It continues like this until the very end. I was surprised to say the least, but it didn't feel like a compliment to myself, it felt like a compliment to a stranger. 

So, yeah, the Talon Strand. I don't know what I'm going to do. I know that if I read it, there's a chance I will feel the same way I felt about Maybe, Misery for so long. 

I know for certain that it is a more grown up sequel, but I'm unsure whether that is enough. I could literally open up a website and have a proof copy sent to me within a couple of weeks. The problem is, I am in the middle of helping to start a business and I'm just not sure if I'll have the time to give it what it needs. What I am going to do is read it and see what state it's in. 

I said I was going to be brief and then I wasn't ... I'm slipping back into old habits already. 

As for this blog. During my time away, I have remained creative. I have even created a group and blog for this, which will focus on the creative process. For this blog, I was excited to find out that I still had access to it and I know that there will be another post dedicated to Bryan as mentioned above. 

I honestly don't think that I'm going to return to ranting about my day, my gym habits and all that jazz. I'm pretty sure people don't want to read that, plus I can't commit to posting everyday. So I'm going to look for a new format. I do miss hosting quizzes, sharing other writers works and writing funny little stories so we'll see what happens. 

I'm sorry for being gone for so long and so abruptly. 

C.S

  

The Talon Strand: Three Unedited Chapters.

Yep, as promised, you will find three unedited chapters from The Talon Strand. These chapters are completely random with the exception of story progression. Basically, they're posted in the order they will be in the final book ... unless I change my mind.

MASSIVE DISCLAIMER: Anybody who bothered to read the individual Maybe, Misery parts will be fully aware that a lot can change after an editing process, so please bare that in mind. Anyway, I won't keep you any longer, enjoy ...


17th September 2013

Singularity

“Deep breathes Sarah …”

“What do you think I’m doing?” I exclaim with ferocity.

“Calm down, you’re doing fine.”

“Calm down! You calm …”

My grilling of Dr Clarke is interrupted by immense pain, my baby is coming and it hurts like hell. Words can’t explain how it feels to deliver a baby into the world. Men claim they understand but really, they have absolutely no clue. I’d pay to see a man be split open from the inside by something the size of child; see how manly they would be then!

I lay here sweating, tormented by agonising pain combined with the worries of whether I’m going to be a good mother or not and Richards unintentional condescending comments are not helping. I was not built to do this alone, After Amanda past away I knew I would struggle but how I feel now is ridiculously fearful.

Now I lay here alone with only Richard to help me bring my baby into this damaged planet and it does not help that there’s twenty people stood outside the room!

As I await the next contraction of pain, Richard shuffles to the side of the bed and gives me his hand to squeeze. He looks into my eyes and reassures me I’m doing well.

It feels like I have been suffering for an eternity! What feels like a day later, Dr Clarke peaks his head between my legs and tells me it’s time. This comforts me knowing that the pain will soon be over and I will have a child to cherish and care for.

“Right Sarah, you’re doing really well but I need you to start pushing okay. This baby isn’t going to come out by itself.”

“Okay …”

I take a deep breathe of the gas and air and try to prepare myself mentally. It does not work!

“Right deep breathes Sarah and I need you to give me a big push.”

I push as hard as I can, the pain causes me to scream, I press the oxygen mask to my face and take a deep breathe.

“You’re doing well sweetie, I need you to push again for me now.”

I push again! It feels like all my energy is being pushed out of my body.

“That’s fantastic, I can see the head. I need you to do a big push for me now. It’s nearly over I promise.”

I inhale as deeply as I can and push as hard as I can. I feel as if I’m being split open from the inside out, like the lower half of my body is an erupting volcano. It’s just not fair how a man’s pleasure turns into my pain, men don’t know a God damned thing!

“We’ve got the shoulders! Just one more push! You’re almost done.”

Once again I push, harder than before; harder than I have ever had to push. Luckily I feel my baby almost slide out of me as I continue to push out the bag of placenta and then the sound of silence.

“Is he okay?! Why is he not screaming?”

As Richard cuts the cord he smiles at me and then swiftly wraps my boy in a towel and places him in my arms. As I gazed lovingly at my new born baby boy, I smile to myself and let out a sigh of relief. I look upon my boy and fall instantly in love. As he lies in my arms, he lets out a little whimper but no screams. After I lay here for a while, I finally get my breath back.

“Thank you for everything. I could not have done it without you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, you did really well tonight. Pass him to me and I’ll clean him up for you, have you decided on a name?”

I hand my son over to Richard and I smile as I tell him the name I have favoured for some time.

“Yes Jacob … Talon.”

“That’s a lovely name, his father would be proud of you both.”

I smile at Richard as he holds my baby. It’s nice to see that there are still a few good men left in this world.

The good doctor once again places my cleaned up baby in my arms and kisses my head. I look up at him for a second and as he smiles back at me, I feel as if I’m not entirely alone for the first time in a long while.

I look towards the door and see the demented smiles of my fellow residents. I pre-emptively told Richard to make sure they leave me alone. He thankfully shares my views as long as I allowed him to spend the night with me at the hospital so he can keep an eye on Jacob, and he insisted he does the night feeds so I can have some sleep. As he ushers away the uninvited guests, I feel grateful that he has kept his word.

As I gaze at my new born child, already looking like Lance, he’s going to be trouble when he grows up that’s for sure. I don’t know how I will teach him, I have no idea how I will keep him fed and clothed but if there’s one thing I am certain of; it’s that I will love him and keep him safe.

It’s strange how things turn out; it was not even a year ago that I was supposed to be a surrogate for Amanda; now I’m here with a child of my own and no sister. Despite everything I know she would have been proud of me for doing this by on my own.

Pokemon, Go (AWAY)

Jesus fucking Christ, never in my short twenty nine years have I seen such a vast amount of full grown adults act like children. What exactly is happening to the Earth's population? Will I wake up one day and we'll be trading goats ... or maybe inventing the wheel? "It's harmless fun," you may argue, but unfortunately it's part of a much bigger problem. Humanity, for all its intents and purposes has reached its peak. Everything we see ... is just regurgitated from a time well passed.

Fashion - dressing like we are part of a forgotten decade.

Film - reboots, rehashes and crowd pleasing garbage. Film used to be seen as a form of art - Yes, that's a true story.

Music - mass produced for the ever gullible consumer, only meant to last until the next catchy rhythm is created on a computer and now this ...

I have rolled my eyes that much this week, that I'm actually surprised they haven't just popped out. Now I remember a CHRIStmas, a long time ago ... at least eighteen years? Possibly longer. My cousin and I eagerly awaiting CHRIStmas morning for our copies of Pokemon. One receiving the blue edition and the other, receiving the red edition. We were so unbelievably excited and I can still remember how much fun we had.

So what's the difference now you ask? Eighteen fucking years! That's the fucking difference. I am twenty nine, approaching thirty and everyone I know are of roughly the same age. Six months ago, If I'd have told some one, I was a thirty year old playing Pokemon, I would have been laughed at and rightly so.

It's alright claiming that it's fun or that it gets you out of the house but they are not worthy reasons nor excuses. There are plenty of fun things to do once you're approaching thirty. Also, if you need to be attached to your phone to get you out of the house, then my friend, you are in need of some serious help ... like fucking electro shock therapy.

I mean, I have have fond memories of being a child. Being held up in my room, creating my own little world with Lego, playing away until my hearts content. Sadly, that time as past.

Life forces us to grow, to adapt and to evolve ... ignoring that shows your unwillingness to progress. I rank twenty somethings playing Pokemon up there with people who believe the Earth is flat, God created the Universe and those people who believe that global warming isn't real.

Understandably, defensive people will defend themselves and come up with some preposterous reason for playing a game designed for children ... probably not the person who got run over trying to catch a Pokemon. But remember, it's not my fault there's no cure for collective idiocy.

So, when you're with your friends/ work colleagues and they ask you, "What did you do last night" And you reply, "I was playing Pokemon." Which is followed by them laughing uncontrollably because you're middle aged, you brought it on yourself.

Everyones entitled to their opinions and rightly so, but if you disagree with me - feel free to go and catch a Pikachu on the motor-way.

Poll for Parodies.

Hello all and a happy Sunday to you ... well unless you've just finished work like me. This is just a quick post to let you know that painful parodies will be coming back. However, this time, you get to decide who our hero, President Bailey goes after.

There's a short poll just to the left with a few choices for you to vote on. If none of these take your fancy, or you'd like all of them to be involved, feel free to comment below and let me know.

Also a note: I have disabled the mobile option for this blog as it completely cuts out everything except the posts. After all, what good is a poll if you can't bloody see it.

Anyway, get voting and the like. Also if you're new to the blog, check them out.

All the best for now,

C.S

Introduction 7.2

Happy Saturday everybody, well unless you're working. The rain is pouring and it's a perfect day for staying in and enjoying the coziness of our domain. I have began to build towards bringing back story time, receiving some excellent drabbles already.

So lets take this opportunity to recap on the last year ... a little.

England voted to leave the E.U - Yes the entire country shouted out their idiotic views about whether or not we should leave the E.U - Why were they idiotic you ask? Purely because all their views were about what they wanted, they didn't even consider what they deserved.

Speaking of England, a group of eleven men who earn more in a month than I will probably earn in my entire life underwhelm, underperform and come home early ... but what do you expect when they're managed by a man like Roy and his 'someone just hit me with a shovel' expression. At least he wasn't sniffing his ass ... Joachim Low. Plus, all the violence ... you can't be that passionate about a bunch of men kicking a ball can you? It's a ball.

Prank videos became a thing ... fully grown adults running around acting like children. It's not really as funny as much as it would be to see said people publicly hanged.

Kanye West is still alive and I'm still disappointed. Minions memes are nearly dead and I'm delighted.

On a lighter note, people still believe the earth is flat ... that's always funny.

Anyway, that's enough of that for now.

I think at some point this week I'm going to show off a bit of the Talon Strand ... maybe putting it out there will get the whole thing moving again.

During a play through of Fallout 4, I heard a funny joke so I thought I would share it as everybody loves jokes:

"I went to the zoo the other day and it was quite strange. There was only one animal and it was a dog."

"Really?"

"Yes, it was a shitzu."

It made me chuckle.

Oh yeah, I should probably show you some of the art work we have been working on, so here's two of them ...

So, I think we'll call it a day for now. I'll be back soon no doubt. Until then, have a great weekend.

The Return.

Hello all, it has indeed been a while. It's been almost a year since my last blog post, thanks to forgotten passwords and broken lap tops. This past year as gone so incredibly fast, that I've barely had the time to stop and realize how fast it's gone.

So anyway, for the moment at least, I have a lovely working lap top and I am liking the idea of continuing this blog. Perhaps not to the same extent as it used to be, but still quite frequently. So yeah, lets discuss that a little bit ...

I finished the Talon Strand a long time ago and also did two read through edits ... that's when my editing lap top died and all the creative side (cover design, createspace malarkey etc.) was suspended indefinitely. Perhaps now, it can continue and eventually be released.

Over the past year, I have been learning to paint using acrylics, to the point where I have had a few commissions. It's quite enjoyable and I will probably involve that in some way or form as well. Looking over at my old blog posts, there are some parts I would really like to bring back which below lies a list:

Drabbles/Poetry: Though my writing has halted, I would still like to help promote indie authors and show off their entertaining works.

Short stories: I really used to enjoy writing painful parodies and I would like to again, in turn helping me get back into the groove of writing myself.

Round-downs: Purely because I like to complain about modern society and we have missed out on a lot this year.

Along with these, there are new things I would like to include:

Artist spotlights as I have come across a lot of excellent artists over the past year.

Interviews for artists and writers a like, the later I sort of touched upon.

Painting guides

Baking/Cooking guides

And probably other stuff, which will be more entertaining than this post.

So, yeah, we're back ... From now until the next post, take care.

C.S

Where's Wally Been?

Hello all, it's been a while to say the least. I hope you all are well. Today, I finally felt it was time to update the old blog and explain my sudden disappearance. Firstly, I moved rather suddenly and had to wait a while for the wifi to be sorted. Then my bloody lap top broke. And after the release of Life Inside a Psychopathic Balloon, I finally asked, "What am I doing?"

So due to these new circumstances, I decided to take my time and come to the correct decision for myself. After the release of Life Inside, I had kind of had enough with the self publishing world for the moment. I think, doing everything myself had lost its appeal and I was just tired of seeing erotic books shoved in my face, promoted via topless men. I mean, where's the imagination. I even stayed off social net working sites for a while and it's easier than you think. I didn't miss philosophies, accompanied by yellow suppositories with eyes, posted endlessly until I was convinced it was time to commit mass murder. I didn't miss pictures of peoples food or their constant sharing of people doing idiotic shit. I mean, since when did we become a generation of imbeciles with a child's mentality?

So anyway, a few weeks ago, I finally made my decision. Shortly before I found out I would be moving from my home town in September. I'm not moving far, but anywhere that isn't Preston is a blessing. I decided that I would eventually release the Talon Strand. I don't know when, but I will. As for any other writings, they have been abandoned until I actually want to finish them. The great thing is, the last few days, I have actually worked on TTS. I'm not enjoying editing at all, but the want to finish it is more prominent than before.

Recently, I have been chucking around the idea of a web show with a colleague of mine. I even wrote a script for the pilot and it seems extremely appealing to me, especially with my desire to make a film still looming. They would be loosely based around my painful parodies. Saying that though, with my move soon approaching, I have no idea what will happen.

So, lets take a moment to reflect on what I've missed:

Game of Thrones season five: Underwhelming for the most part. The Watch members are now universally hated by women everywhere.

Kayne West claiming to be a genius: Kanye is to music, what E.L. James is to writing. Simply put, a travesty.

Speaking of which, James' Twitter Q and A: If you're going to release shit books and host a social interview, prepare for backlash. I found it highly amusing as most of the points were valid.

Ebola: Where did it go?

Justin Bieber: Unfortunately still alive.

Minions: Still for small children.

My Nan: Still at bingo.

Batman Vs Superman: It's going to be awesome.

Suicide Squad: Will be saved by Jared Leto's Joker and Harley Quinn.

Deadpool: My favourite comic book character finally gets a proper treatment.

I think that's most of it. So farewell for now people of earth.

Much love,

C.S